Are You There Cancer? It's Me, Jennie.

Dear Cancer: Saturday, October 23, 2010

2010-10-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

Victory! Take that, stupid Cancer! This photo was taken after all members of Team TRIumph crossed the finish line out in San Diego last weekend. After a year filled with one six-month cancer treatment, the birth of three babies, and one divorce, we all crossed the finish line in less than two hours (our goal) and managed to raise nearly $15,000 for the fight against ovarian cancer. From left to right: Melissa Sigler, Jori Tulkki, me, Jill Rowlison, Krista Drescher, and Kristin Whitman. Thanks so much, ladies!

Dear Cancer,

Well, we've come to the end of the road. I'm writing this final post from my beloved South Carolina Low Country, which was where I came so often during treatment to escape the craziness you caused. It's been a gorgeous weekend down here - one that has been filled with much laughter (my mom, Aunt Kathy (remember her? Kathie Lee meets Sex in the City's Samantha?), and my dear friend, Alison, are all down here), exercise (love my bridge walk!), good food (ate at my favorite F.I.G. last night), shopping (I have the best design karma down here and find the best things!) and reflection on the beautiful beaches of Sullivan's Island.

Thirteen months ago today, I finished my treatment to get rid of you for good. In between that day and today, I have experienced some amazing highs and some scary lows. While doctors know very well how to try and get rid of you, they aren't quite as knowledgeable as to how to deal with the aftermath of you. Particularly you, my Stage IIIa ovarian and Stage I uterine Cancers (otherwise known as synchronous primaries), because in order to get rid of you, I had to bid farewell to so many important things that most 32-year old women are lucky enough to take for granted. Things like my fertility, my mental health (for two brief periods during and post-treatment), and many other more minor things.

However, what I do know for sure today, Cancer, is that like most others thing in life, if you don't kill someone, you make them stronger...and smarter...and braver...and perhaps, a tad more creative? And you do this for cancer caregivers too. It's funny but while I'm now minus a uterus, cervix, ovaries, omentum, appendix, and a tiny bit of colon, I've emerged from my battle with you a more hole person. So, you might wonder, Cancer, what is my overwhelming emotion towards you on this day? The truth is, while I resented the heck out of you in the beginning, today I'm grateful beyond words to you for some many really wonderful reasons:

Thank you, Cancer, for helping me know more than I ever would have otherwise just how much I'm loved by my family and friends, who are all truly the family I chose so well for myself.

Thank you for making me learn about the benefits of the anti-cancer lifestyle (even if I don't observe all of them on a daily basis anymore...), including eating more locally grown, (mostly) organic fruits and vegetables, less meat/dairy/alcohol/refined carbohydrates, continuing my daily exercise, and eliminating harsh chemicals (bye, bye bleach...I'll miss you!).

At 10 + years into my health care communications and marketing career, thank you (and Deloitte) for giving me the opportunity to take a much needed six-month sabbatical, which not only allowed me to fight you with all of my physical and emotional energy but also nurtured my creativity. Writing this blog was so therapeutic during treatment and the time off allowed me to also enhance my interior and event design skills (when I was feeling up to it). As a result of the events of the past 18 months, I'm finally ready to launch my side design business, HOME COMING (check back for hyperlink later), and I couldn't be happier about that.

Thank you for helping me realize that my legacy was not meant to be the lives I would create (although, I still very much want to meet my half-orange and raise a couple of great kids -- whether they be step-children, adopted children, or reproductively engineered children) but rather, the women's lives I will help save. It is true that I finally found my purpose and passion as a result of you, Cancer, and I'm so grateful for that as well. To date, I've raised nearly $20,000 toward the fight against gynecological cancers and have told my story in a variety of ways -- whether on this blog, through the CDC's Inside Knowledge PSA campaign I'm "starring" in, the congressional briefing I participated in, or in "Dancing with N.E.D," which I hope to help produce and launch within the next eighteen months. You picked the wrong gal to mess with, Cancer, because I'm considered the Mouth-of-the-South by some, and my new mission in life is to tell every woman who will listen about the symptoms of your invasion. If I can help save one woman's life or fertility, for that matter, I will have fulfilled my purpose in life. And I think I'm well on my way to doing that.

Speaking of half-oranges, thank you also for making me slow down for a bit, Cancer, and giving me the time to really start to think about what I want and deserve in a romantic relationship. As a result of you, I have a much clearer picture today of the kind of relationship I want to have - not the man who might look good on paper - but rather the feeling I want to have when I'm in a loving relationship. Today, I'm as optimistic as ever that I will find someone who wants to build the same kind of life with me as I do with him. It's a life filled with good friends, wonderful travel adventures, great food, working out together, a couple (just two!) beautiful kids who we raise to be thoughtful and caring people (not little brats...), DANCING (my friends and I have decided that, as ridiculous as it may seem, not dancing is a deal-breaker for me), and a whole host of other wonderful things.

And thank you so much for the AMAZING people you helped introduce me to, including in no particular order: Dr. John C. Elkas and his staff of the most amazing chemo nurses in the world (Darlene, Marianne, Rosemary, Thuy, and the list goes on...); Dr. Alkhas, who was the cute Fellow who I crushed on during treatment; my genetic counselor, Grace, at INOVA Fairfax, who helped me figure out why the heck you invaded me; Sage Bolte with Life with Cancer, who is a rock star of an oncology counselor; all of the "ists" in my life, including great massage therapists, my acupuncturist, and Richard; and finally, and most importantly, to all of the amazing cancer survivors along my journey - from Kris Carr to Johnny Imerman to all the ladies in the chemo room at Mid-Atlantic Pelvic Surgery Associates, who are all so wonderful to be around during treatment.

But most of all, Cancer, thank you for retreating quickly in battle. From the blood results from my first chemo treatment when my CA 125 went from 88 to 26 to the fact that by the time right ovary was removed during my total hysterectomy and was found to be cancer-free at that time, you didn't have much fight in you and I'm so thankful to you for that. I am well aware of the fact that this could have all ended much differently and am more thankful than anyone knows (well, at least anyone who hasn't battled cancer) that you've allowed me to live.

So, that's it. That's how I feel about you 13 months out of treatment. In case you're wondering, I'm going to see Dr. E every three months for another year to make sure you haven't returned and then after that, we'll catch up every six months until I reach my five-year CURE on September 23, 2014. Hopefully, by then I will have improved my sprint triathlon time significantly from the 1:42 minutes it took me to do the race in San Diego last weekend. And hopefully, I will have also found my half-orange and be well on my way to becoming a mother. Oh, and maybe by then I will have published my funny yet poignant cancer memoir, tentatively entitled, "The Change."

I've got big hopes for my future, Cancer, and my only ask of you today is that you allow me to realize them.

Cheers,
Jennie

Hitting My Stride: Friday, October 15, 2010

2010-10-15T17:50:00.000-07:00

Well, we've almost reached the end of this road. I'm not even going to bother apologizing for the lack of posts over the past several weeks because those of you regular (or, formerly regular) readers are probably tired of hearing them by now.

So, here I am in San Diego. I'm writing in my hotel room and one of best friends, Jori, is relaxing in the room with me. My parents are here in their room as well. The rest of the triathlon crew are in town and headed to the hotel. We're all going to have dinner at Nobu (yum!) in an hour or so.

I feel as though I've finally hit my stride in many ways over the past several weeks: First and foremost, I had a FANTASTIC one-year check-up with Dr. E two weeks ago. My CA 125 had actually dropped three points to 11.5 and Dr. E found nothing suspicious during the physical exam so it was a great appointment. I've got one year of cancer-free under my belt now and four more to go to get the cure I'm striving for!

Next, I am finally ready to compete in this triathlon. I did a practice sprint triathlon with some of my teammates last weekend and survived it. Granted, it wasn't quite as intense as the real thing because there was a fairly long break between the swim and bike portion but regardless, I did fine and it felt good. Also, earlier this week I did a final swim with my unofficial training coach, Al, who grew up a competitive swimmer, and he proclaimed me ready for the race after our swim. In fact, he later admitted that he had tried to engage me in coversation between some of our laps because he needed to catch his breath in order to keep up with me. Woohoo!

Finally, I recently got a promotion and raise at work when I started a new position in mid-September. I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying my new role. It's like I've been asleep professionally for several years and suddenly I'm awake. The position is right up my alley as it involves external stakeholder relationship management, event planning, business development for smaller accounts, and some media and community relations. It's fantastic and I'm just so excited to enjoy my work once again.

There are other things, too. But for now, all you need to know is that just over one year following treatment, and after a pretty rough patch this past winter, things are looking up for J-Woww. And I couldn't be more grateful for all of it.

So, that's the update at T-minus 36 hours before my first sprint triathlon. More soon. For real.

Dancing with N.E.D: Friday, September 17, 2010

2010-09-17T09:01:00.001-07:00

Dancing with N.E.D. is what every cancer patient dreams of. Please check out this documentary trailer about the rock band, N.E.D., which stands for No Evidence of Disease, and please donate to the project if you're so inclined. Oh, and let me know if you catch my brief cameo! Thank you.

Cover Girl: Tuesday, September 14, 2010

2010-09-14T11:41:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, here it is. Check out the CDC's "Inside Knowledge" PSA ad campaign that I'm "starring" in. Thanks to cancer, I got my BIG modeling break. Ha! If only that were really true.

Seriously, though, playing a small part in the rollout of this important campaign has been a hugely rewarding experience...and is another item to add to the ever-growing list of "why having ovarian cancer isn't the worst thing that ever happened to me." Please check out the campaign site and READ the symptoms of various kinds of gynecologic cancer. You owe it to yourself and the women you love.

Oh, and speaking of women we love, I'd like to give a special shout out to yet another fabulous woman afflicted with this insidious disease: Hang in there and stay strong, Mimi Cheney! (a.k.a my dear friend Ali's 91-year old grandmother who has just started chemo for stage IV ovarian cancer)

Broken Promises: Monday, September 13, 2010

2010-09-13T13:03:00.001-07:00

So, once again, I lied. Not too long ago I promised that I would post more regularly leading up to my celebratory triathlon in October and guess what, I haven't. As many of you regular visitors know by now, September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month. And so for this recent survivor-turned-activist/fundraiser/budding triathlete, life is in HIGH gear in more ways than one. I'm up to my eyeballs right now with event planning (search Rock, Paper, Coctails! on Facebook and you'll see what I'm working on), fundraising, media outreach and interviews related to my fundraiser and triathlon, and, of course, triathlon training. But, fortunately, life's not totally all ovarian cancer all of the time. Thank God!

I PROMISE to be back soon with the photo highlights (just for you MPR!) of the past several weeks of birthday celebrations, which seemed as though they would never end, Labor Day festivites, events (including Circque du Soleil's OVO and the men's semi finals at the US Open), and much more! Oh, and be sure to check back tomorrow to see how cancer has helped launch my modeling career...

Two Birthday Wishes: Tuesday, August 24, 2010

2010-08-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

I am 34-years old today. Wow?!? I suppose being another year older beats the alternative, right? I’m celebrating my birthday in a much more low-key fashion than I did last year: I’m out in Denver right now visiting my paternal grandparents. Last year’s craziness precluded me from making a visit so it’s good to be back out west spending good quality time with grandparents who have provided me with so many fond childhood memories (...and who introduced me to New York City and Big Sky, Montana!) We just finished a big breakfast at Lucille's Creole Kitchen and tonight we're doing a wine tasting and having dinner with a couple good family friends at my favorite French restaurant in Denver, Le Central. Last year when I blew out the candles at my “33 and Cancer-Free” birthday bash, I had two wishes for my next birthday: 1. That I would be healthy and 2. That I would be in love, preferably with someone who was in love with me as well. (Over the years, I have found that it generally feels better that way.) Hmmm…what’s that old saying – one out of two ain’t bad?

The good news is that I am, as far as anyone knows, a healthy 34-year old today. My mind, body, and soul have rebounded well from last year’s warfare and I’m proud to report that I’m probably in as good of shape as I’ve ever been in. My (sprint) triathlon training is going well (and so is my fundraising as I've already reached 50% of my goal) and I’m looking forward to being out in San Diego in seven short weeks with some of my best friends, who have all done so much for me over the past year and a half, to finish the race and declare victory over stupid cancer.

The less than great news is that I’m not in love…yet! And so the search for true, lasting love continues. But that’s okay. At press time, there a couple of interesting prospects and so I remain optimistic that sooner or later I will meet my “media naranjo,” which, loosely translated, means my perfect other half. That is, if I haven’t already yet! The truth is that I’ve had more romantic interests -- and even fleeting love -- during my diagnosis, treatment, and first year post-treatment than many gals in my position could hope for. And, if nothing else, it sure has made life interesting. So, I’d like to take a moment to thank the men that have been in and out of my life over the past year and a half and whom, up to this point, I’ve only made casual reference to on this blog. So, here goes: I’d like to thank Mike (last seen in "Wine & Cheese") for making me laugh (so much!) and letting me freak out (a few times…) during the very dark, scary early days of my diagnosis and treatment. And, frankly, for getting out of the way once he realized the situation I faced was way above his pay grade, so to speak. I’d like to thank James for asking me out on a date while I had a wig on my head (that green Ella Ross shirt of mine strikes again!). I never anticipated being asked out during treatment and our brunch date was very fun (and yummy!). James called about two weeks after our first date to check in and I received his voicemail while laying in the hospital bed recuperating from my hysterectomy. I never returned his call because 1. he waited two weeks to call, which I took as a sign that he just wasn’t that into me, and 2. because, how would I answer the question, “So, what have you been up to?” Hmmm. ”Ummm…well…actually, James, I’m recovering from my total hysterectomy. How ‘bout you?” I decided that at that point in my treatment, I should just focus on getting better and not wondering whether some guy was going to call back for another date. But being asked out by a younger, pretty cute martial arts fighter/wine importer provided a fun high during treatment, so I’m happy we met. And finally, I need to thank Dave (a.k.a. my favorite Excel geek) for taking a chance on a gal with a bald head who had just finished chemo and who had just been through the most challenging year of her life. While we both agree now that we aren’t a long-term love match, we certainly had some fun times racing (or crawling, as the case may be) up and down 95 to see each other over the past nine months. I, for one, am left with many happy memories, including a couple of fun oyster roasts, some Richmond black tie events (incomparable people watching!), many great runs on the GW Parkway, fun dinners with his family and our Alexandria and Richmond friends, a special Valentine’s Day weekend in Charlottesville, and much, much more. My relationship with Dave helped me get my groove back following treatment and for that, I am more grateful than anyone can imagine. And the good news is that we’re still friends (…and he just gave me the most awesome birthday gift: a triathlon training mix for my iPod!!!), which as anyone who knows me knows, is not something I generally believe in being following a break-up. And speaking of break-ups, thanks also to a whole bunch of former beaus who sent sweet emails, notes, and even took me out on (platonic) dates during treatment, including everyone’s favorite texter, Hot Marine, who really did turn out to be a good guy in the end (to be friends with, not to date). Oh, and lest I forget to thank the very dreamy Dr. A for not only helping save my life along side my beloved Dr. E but for providing such good eye candy, as well as really good actual candy, during his visits to my IP chemo treatments. He has no idea how exciting his 30-minute drop-ins were to a young cancer patient who was temporarily out of the dating world. Or, perhaps he did know? Regardless, my heart skipped a beat every time he came in the room, which was another great complementary therapy to help fight the big C.

So, what is my wish on this birthday? Of course, I can’t tell you or it won’t come true! Ha. Though I will say that if your guess is the same as last year’s wish, you’re probably not too far off track. After you’ve had an illness like mine you realize, there really is nothing more important in life than your health and the people with whom you can share life’s ups and downs. And, so, if I all have for the rest of my days is good health and the love of my family and friends (and, hopefully, my media naranjo!), I will be a lucky girl!

Thanks to everyone for all of the wonderful birthday wishes. Until next time, be well.

Stars and Stripes Forever: Monday, August 23, 2010

2010-08-23T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well, since I recently promised my followers that I'd post more leading up to the final chapter of this blog in October, I figured I'd better start my birthday week with a Monday afternoon post.

A couple of weeks ago a good friend introduced me to one of the best (and most patriotic) free activities you can do on a Tuesday or Friday night during the summers in D.C.: The Sunset Parade of the Marine Bugle Corp. If you haven't been, it's a wonderful - albeit a bit sticky - way to spend an evening with visiting family or friends...or, in my case, your 84-year old retired Naval officer grandfather.

You know, that circle of life, which I talked about before on this blog, sure is a funny thing. When I was a young girl, my grandparents did whatever they could to make outings together fun for my brother and me. And now, as they enter the twilight of their lives, it's me who is trying to so hard to provide fun experiences and happy memories for them.

Here's a sweet shot of me and Grandad following the Parade at the Iwo Jima memorial this past Tuesday evening.

Photo credit: Al Quaye. Thanks for capturing this moment!

Support Team TRIumph!: Tuesday, August 17, 2010

2010-08-17T09:13:00.001-07:00

Dear Friends and Family:

Next Tuesday, I’ll celebrate my 34th birthday. Sadly, there was a brief moment (okay, maybe a few…) last summer when I wasn’t sure I’d live to celebrate this birthday. That is what life with cancer does – it makes you doubt whether you’ll live to experience the milestones that others are lucky enough to take for granted. Fortunately for me, it looks as though I’ll not only see this birthday but, hopefully, many more to come.

When my doctor told me about the “grave” situation I faced on March 10, 2009, I could not imagine all of the ways in which my life would life would change over the next 12 months and beyond. And certainly on that day, I couldn’t have possibly imagined I’d celebrate my one-year wellness anniversary by competing in my first sprint triathlon with five of my best friends, all of whom have supported me in such tremendous ways over the past eighteen months. It’s funny how certain physical fetes that once seemed overwhelming suddenly seem much more manageable after having faced treatment for Stage IIIa ovarian and Stage I uterine cancers. My friends and I will be competing in the U.S. Women’s Triathlon Series race in San Diego on October 17th. The race seemed like the perfect choice for our celebration since the official charity of the Series is the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund (OCRF), which is one of the nation’s leading independent agencies dedicated to advancing ovarian cancer research in the United States.

We’re not only competing to achieve a great physical fitness goal but also to raise critical research funds to help save women’s lives – women who are our friends, sisters, cousins, aunts, mothers, grandmothers, and most importantly, our daughters (present and future!). During my many hours in the chemo treatment room, I was struck by the fact that “the disease that whispers,” as it is known in cancer circles, doesn’t discriminate. I had the good fortune to meet some of the bravest and most interesting women from all walks of life: Many of the women were quite old but several were young girls in junior high and high school (JUNIOR HIGH?!?). While most were white, I also met quite a few from other races. And while some of these women were quite poor, some were clearly very affluent. The one thing we all had in common, besides having been diagnosed with one of the most lethal cancers (the fifth leading cancer killer of women and the deadliest of the female reproductive system), was the will to live.

So, while ovarian cancer has taken some pretty precious things away from me, including my ability to have biological children, it has indeed given me many wonderful things too, including new friends, a deeper faith in God, and a real sense of purpose to help educate women in order to save their lives. My participation in various awareness and outreach activities, including lecturing local third year medical students on the symptoms of ovarian cancer and “starring” in an upcoming CDC PSA ad campaign to educate women about gynecological cancers (check back later for the ad), have been some of the most rewarding experiences of my life. And while important advances in research are being made every day, there is still no diagnostic available to help with early detection of ovarian cancer. For many women, the disease is simply found too late -- but YOU can help change that!

Please support me and my Team TRIumph so that the OCRF can continue its mission to fund research to find a method of early detection and ultimately a cure for ovarian cancer. Any donation amount -- $5, $10, $25, $100 or $500 -- is so appreciated. My goal is to raise $8,000 between now and race day, which is just EIGHT short weeks away. To that end, please feel free to forward this note to anyone you know who might be interested in making a donation.

You can make your 100% tax-deductable donation on the secure Web site below: http://www.active.com/donate/ocrf10/jmac2010

Thanks in advance for your support of Team TRIumph and this important women’s health cause.

All the best,
Jennie

P.S. To all of you loyal blog followers, whom I love so much, I promise to keep the posts coming with a bit more regularity until I write the final chapter after crossing the finish line in San Diego on October 17th!

Priceless: Thursday, August 5, 2010

2010-08-05T12:52:00.000-07:00

Registration fee for a US Women’s Series sprint triathlon in San Diego: $85.00

Cross-country airfare, race hotel, bike repairs to my old five-speed (yes, that really is what I’m going to train on), tri shorts (since I’m loath to wear a real tri suit), bike helmet (the last time I rode a road bike in 1988 they weren’t in fashion), wet suit rental (for the freezing San Diego Bay, which should be a balmy 66 degrees on race day), and bike rental (renting a real bike for the race but don't worry...only using one gear since the course is flat): $750 (give or take)

Finishing your first sprint triathlon with five of your best friends to celebrate your one-year wellness anniversary following treatment for stage III ovarian cancer: PRICELESS.

Good thing that for everything else there's MasterCard. (Just kidding, Dad!)

And the Results are In...: Wednesday, July 21, 2010

2010-07-21T11:30:00.001-07:00

So, in case you haven't heard the news on another social networking channel, I got the results of my latest CT scan back (finally)...and it's all clear! And so was my inaugural mammogram! (Ladies: If you haven't had one already, it's really no biggie for us average-chested gals. I mean, it's not a great time or anything but I'd describe it as "uncomfortable" versus "painful.") After hearing all of this good news, I felt as though as I could push the "play" button again on my life after having hit the "pause" button two weeks ago when Dr. E ordered the scan.

Despite the good news of the clean scan, Dr. E and I are still a bit baffled (and nervous) about my continually rising CA 125 level. If you'll recall, once you've had ovarian cancer, most doctors want your level below 20. My all-time low was around 8 or 9, I think, and now it's climbed to 14. So, we'll continue to monitor it (and me) closely, which means that if it's higher at my one-year check-up (woohoo!), I'll have to have another CT scan again. And I'll have to hit that "pause" button again.

So, that's it. Life is back in full motion and I'm looking forward to a quick trip to visit my brother and sister-in-law next weekend (leave it to me to pick the first weekend of August to visit people living in Florida!) and a visit to Denver to see my grandparents later in the month, which I will now book the airline ticket for since I know for certain that I won't have just had surgery (again) or be starting another round of chemo. Oh, and I will FINALLY put my tri training and fund raising at the top of my priority list as well!

Until next time, be well.

Test Time: Tuesday, July 13, 2010

2010-07-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

I just started the day with one of my least favorite pre-test rituals: Drinking a nice tall glass of barium. I have my inaugural mammogram (woohoo!) and my CT scan later this afternoon, which means no solid food until after the test (just green tea and water for me!)...and two more large containers of vanilla-flavored barium to go before it's showtime at Washington Radiology Associates.

In case you missed the announcement on Facebook and Twitter, there is some good news to share today: Fortunately, due to my diligence, my missing lab results were found at the end of last week. It took a trip to LabCorp and a couple more phone calls to determine that the idiots at LabCorp misspelled my name and the idiots in my doctor's office didn't put two and two together when they received four faxed pages of results with the name Jennifer MiGihon on them. Seriously?!? I think everyone needs a BIG lesson in THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX to figure out how lab work that was supposedly done well over a week ago could be missing.

Anyway, enough with my rant. The good news (I think) is that my labs all looked relatively good. My CA125 rose again to 14 (12.4 at last visit; 9 at the end of treatment) but it is still well below the acceptable level of 20. Also, my CMP (metabolic rate for liver and kidney function) and HE4 (I really don't know...another cancer antigen I think?) looked good too. So, in case you're wondering, I'm relatively optimistic as I head into today's tests. I really have no time to ponder what life would be like if the tests don't look good because, honestly, that scenario is just far too depressing for someone training for a triathlon and trying to lead a normal 33-year old life.

I should have the results from today's test by the end of the week so check back then for an update. Prayers, please!

9 Month Stats: Tuesday, July 6, 2010

2010-07-06T09:33:00.001-07:00

Well, I wish I could report the news I'd hoped to report following today's appointment with Dr. E but, alas, I can't. Here are the stats from my 9 month check-up with Dr. E:

Weight = 132 lbs. (okay, this is just about as upsetting as the other news I'm about to share...MUST GET BACK TO MY STRICT ANTI-CANCER DIET since this only 7 lbs. lighter than my highest weight ever!!!)

CA125 = ??? (also very upsetting is the fact that the blood work I had done at Labcorp last MONDAY is M.I.A. and not in the system)

Exam = Suspicious fullness?!?!?

Yep, that's right. Dr. E found suspicious fullness in my pelvic region during today's exam so he has ordered me to get a CT scan...and soon. He's pretty sure that what he felt is just scar tissue as scar tissue increases with time but just to be on the safe side he's ordered the scan. And because I need pre-authorization from my damn insurance company for the test, I have to wait to have it done until next Tuesday afternoon. Oh, and he hounded me about the mammogram he's wanted me to have for a long time too so that's on the schedule for next Tuesday as well. Good times! Would anyone like to volunteer to go in my place? Come on, you know you want to! The banana barium slushy is so darn good it's totally worth the inconvenience just for the taste of that stuff. Oh, and as an added bonus, if they can't find my blood work in the Labcorp system by Thursday, I have to get the blood work redone. Yipee!

I'll be back soon to let you know what we find out...

Passages: Thursday, June 24, 2010

2010-06-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

Wow! A lot has happened since I last wrote in late April. It's hard to believe it's been nearly two months since I've checked in but, as usual, I've been a busy (and thankfully, happy!) gal. So, here's the rundown of the many events, or passages, if you will, that have occurred since I last wrote:

First, on the happy news front, there have been a couple of births since before I last wrote (apologies to the Brisendines and Whitmans for the delayed mention). Brooks Andrew Brisendine was born to my dear childhood friend, Elena, and her husband, Briley, on February 25th. As you'll see below, Brooks is a happy, beautiful little boy and I was so thrilled to spend time "talking" with him on a couple of recent trips to Atlanta.

A pre-dinner shot of me (check out the straight-ish hair!) with Brooks and his mommy, Elena.

On April 6th, the Whitmans welcomed their second daughter, Katherine Phillips Whitman, to the world! It was a special treat to meet her on her actual birthday when I delivered yummy Atlantis to her hungry daddy, Shawn. Katherine is just as cute and sweet as her older sister, Lauren, and I had the pleasure of introducing her to a potential future boyfriend, Alex Tulkki, when he made the trek east to visit the Alexandria gang in late April. I think they hit it off!

Alex meet Katherine. Katherine meet Alex. Both of you, please check out Aunt Jennie's straight-ish hair!

Let's see what other happy passages have occurred recently? Well, I guess these two are both bittersweet to a certain extent but since I'm a glass half-full kind of a girl, I think they're mostly happy. Two weeks ago my Grandad moved down from Delaware to Greenspring Village - the best retirement community in the world in my opinion - to be closer to the Alexandria McGihons. It's bittersweet because in order to do so Grandad had to leave behind his wife, Grandmary, who suffers from late-stage Alzheimer's. I know it was difficult for Grandad to leave Grandmary (she is in good hands in Delaware, though) but since he's had his own health issues over the past year and since Mary doesn't really know who any of us are anymore and is very frail, I'm happy to have him close by and in a thriving community where he can enjoy his time. Continuing with grandparent updates, my grandmother, Denny McGihon, just celebrated her 80th birthday this week! While she may not be celebrating being another year older, she should celebrate being a great example of longevity - both in the physical and mental sense. Granny has had her own challenges with a sick spouse over the past year so I was happy that they could be together and feeling well for her birthday celebration. And now that life seems to be back on track for me, I'm looking forward to a trip out to Denver to spend time with her and my grandfather, Clark, later this summer.

And in other news, I've been helping a few friends deal with some far less pleasant passages of their own. One good friend's nearly six-year marriage is ending later this month. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and it is sad to see something that was once filled with so much promise come to an end for reasons none of us can really understand. I've been helping her try to embrace the single life (...and decorate her adorable new carriage house!) as much as is possible while the wound is still so fresh. And another friend was forced to abandon the urban home and lifestyle that she and her family loved for a new one in the 'burbs. I've tried to demonstrate that life in the 'burbs ain't so bad but I know it's a big shock to their system and not one they would have chosen. And finally, yet another friend has had to help her parents pack up and sell her childhood home so that they could move to a town and home better suited for the daily trials of her father's Parkinson's disease. While it feels good to give back to some of the many people who helped me during my wellness campaign, I'd rather they not have to face these challenges at all. But, like what I kept telling myself last year at this time, better days are ahead for all of them. I don't think it; I know it. It turns out that my dad was right when he said that things always get better (...by the way, he told me this when I was in 4th grade and had very few friends -- I think you'll agree, I've got plenty now!).

Oh, yes, and there's another passage to report: My good friend, Melissa Maclin (or "Mac" as we call her) is on her way to Afghanistan yet again. We had a good bye dinner for her the other night at Christy's restaurant. This passage is definitely bittersweet as it's wonderful to get together to wish her well and welcome her home but we all worry about her while she's overseas.

Mac's goodbye dinner at Food Matters: Mac, me, Melissa R., Christy, Kelley, and Christina, who was in town from NYC. Be safe, Mac!

There are many other less important passages that have occurred recently as well:

The official start of summer! Yay!

My first trip to NYC in nearly a year where I spent time with Christina, Ali, and Skei in Brooklyn and where I met Kavitha's baby girl, Sasha, before we headed out for the most delicious sushi I'VE EVER HAD!

My registration for this fall's sprint triathlon and Team Hope, which is the OCRF's fundraising team for the race! (You'll hear much more about that later...)

The two-month countdown to my next birthday! (Today! I wonder if both of my birthday wishes will come true?!?)

Oh, yes, but there is one final passage that occurred recently and it was both BIG and HAPPY. It's the one that happened almost a month ago in Charleston during Memorial Day weekend when my "baby" brother, Bobby, married his long-time girlfriend, Ansley. The weekend's festivities reminded me (and others) what a difference a year can make in one's life. Last year, during the same weekend, I was very ill from my first chemo treatment and was recuperating in Charleston. Me, my mother and good friends endured a weekend filled with much bleeding, fainting, puking, and bone pain (...but some good times too!). My brother was there to help me that weekend by running out to pick up my Vicodin prescription from the drugstore. So, you can imagine, that it was quite wonderful to be there again this Memorial Day feeling well - and with reasonably good hair -to celebrate this happy occasion. As you'll see below, it was not only a beautiful wedding but a very fun one as well!

The Daniel Island Club where the wedding and reception took place.

A happy, healthy bridesmaid (with decent hair!).

The proud papa escorts the bride.

The ceremony.

You may kiss your bride!

Mr. and Mrs. Robert John McGihon!

Okay, clearly a big jump from the last picture to this one!

Bobby and my mom bustin' a move.

Dad and me doing our thing. Hard to believe I was bald and 15 lbs. lighter just 9 months ago!

So, that just about sums up the passages of the last two months. I'll be back again soon to report out on my 9-month check-up (yippee!), my triathlon training and fundraising, and other things.

Until next time, be well.

A Good Haircut is a Good Haircut: Thursday, April 29, 2010

2010-04-29T18:47:00.000-07:00

I loved that Hair Cuttery ad campaign so it seemed appropriate for this blog entry. There were several other titles I debated giving this blog post, which included:

How Stella Got Her Groove Back,
Back in the Saddle Again,
I Get Knocked Down But Get Up Again,
And…
Here Comes the Sun

But the Hair Cuttery slogan won out for a number of reasons.

What's been going on, you ask? Here it is: Q1 2010 was not the best for the Jennster (or J-Woww, as I prefer to be called in 2010). I had been warned by many a cancer survivor and counselor that I should prepare myself to have a post-treatment crash but I was convinced I wouldn’t have one since I had weathered my treatment so well. Well, I was wrong. Big time. Following the holidays and my sailing trip to the BVIs over New Years, I settled back into full-time work – really, full-time life – and did so in the midst of record snow fall in the D.C. area. To say this winter was miserable for this summer-lovin' gal would be an understatement. But there were many other complicating factors to add to my misery than the two to three feet of snow (and ice) that was on the ground from mid-January through the end of February. What's so upsetting is that I think my crash made some doubt who I was and whether I would rebound. Shame on them.

Let’s see. Where to begin? Well, first there was my heel. Remember my decision to have a colony of planter’s warts removed from the bottom of my heel? Dumb move. Real dumb. Our first heavy snow fall happened within a couple of days of that procedure so there I was hobbling around with a Safeway bag wrapped around my surgical boot so foot didn’t get wet. To make matters worse, I couldn’t work out due to the wound so there I was trapped inside and unable to escape even for an hour of cardiovascular exercise, which I’m sort of addicted to. I didn’t believe my podiatrist when he warned me that the healing process would be slow – perhaps even two to three months. Well folks, I'm here to tell you that it really took a full three months.

What else? Oh, yes. So, unfortunately, it seems that the antibiotics I was on for most of the month of January for a couple of infections (don't worry, they're not important...) led to a chronic yeast infection, which then led to “atrophic vaginitis.” Consider yourself lucky if you don’t know what “atrophic vaginitis” means. The bottom line is this: Basically, this winter my worst fears of my post-surgical menopause life came true. I was in and out of various doctors' offices searching for a cure – anything really – to help my you-know-what feel better. The search took about three months. No joke. And all I have to say is thank God for the geek (or, more likely, the team of geeks) who developed Premarin. Bless you!

Moving right along...oh, yes, then there was full-time work and my personal finances. It seems that both had me equally overwhelmed and depressed by the middle of February. So much so, in fact, that in order to function and deal with both better, I got back on my happy pills. Lexapro to the rescue! But the most amazing thing occurred once I started taking the happy pills again: Not only did my debilitating anxiety disappear but so did my almost equally debilitating HOT FLASHES (well, disappear might be an overstatement but they almost disappeared...). I went from having a dozen or so hot flashes a day to having maybe one or two a day? You can't imagine what a relief that's been. As I would later learn from Dr. E, whose own wife also takes Lexapro, it's known to be a balancer -- and I guess it balances body temperature and mood equally well. Amen!

(An aside: In case you're wondering, yes, between last year and this winter I have become BFFs with my local CVS pharmacist. John is his name. I love him. He knows my name and asks me about how I'm doing everytime I'm in. In fact, sometimes I daydream about starring in a CVS commercial -- you know, like in one of the spots where the pharmacist is instructing the patient in how to take a new drug and the smiling patient is nodding their head that, yes, they understand how to take the new drug. That's John and me.)

And then there was the hair. Oh boy, did the hair get me. I'm sure many of you reading this have known other cancer patients who've lost their hair and then it's grown back funky -- whether in color and/or texture. Well, mine grew back funky in texture. Simply put: I looked like a poodle and it didn't make me happy. In fact, it didn't make people who are close to me happy because I bitched about it so much. I felt as though the poodle perm that chemo had blessed me with was frumpy and just another injustice of my cancer sentence. But, you know what? I think that my hatred of the poodle perm look I was sporting was about a lot more than just the poodle perm. I'm pretty sure it had more to do with a sense of loss -- loss of control, loss of my fertility, etc., etc. But then it dawned on me: God invented relaxers for a reason...and I should have one. And I did! And now, I'm happy to say, I'm in love. I really love my new hair. It's not perfect but you know what, it's pretty damn close. I finally look like my old self again after nearly a year and it feels good. I finally have a hairstyle that does not give away that I had cancer (...or just an unfortunate choice in hair stylist) last year and it feels good. And it has made a world of difference in my outlook.

So, that pretty much sums up the misery of Q1 and why you haven't heard very much from me lately. As for Q2, it's looking much, much better:

I've already covered the hair. I'll post a picture soon.

Thanks to a healed heel, I'm working out again regularly, which is both good for my mood and my waistline. I'm re-committed to the goal of completing the sprint triathlon in San Diego in October to celebrate my one-year wellness anniversary.

Work is more manageable these days and so are my personal finances, thanks to the super cool Excel budget spreadsheet that my favorite Excel geek made for me.

Oh, and I had my six month check-up with Dr. E and I'm pleased to report that I got another clean bill of health. My CA 125 is 12.4, which, while not my lowest level ever, is still really good.

Tomorrow afternoon I'm giving my first "patients teaching students" lecture to med students at Georgetown University. I'm doing it through the local chapter of the NOCC. The program is designed to help med students learn to listen to symptoms better and deliver bad news more effectively (er, sensitively?). I'm looking forward to that and will let you know how it goes.

In addition to all of that, I'm slowly but surely learning how to juggle everything again, which also feels great. This past weekend my mother and I co-hosted a shower for Ansley, my brother's fiance, which was a lot of fun. It felt great to entertain again.

So, that's how things are looking at just over six months post-treatment. Thank you to all of you who supported me during the winter of my discontent. You know who you are. Once again, I have the best family and friends.

D-Day Anniversary: Wednesday, March 10, 2010

2010-03-10T10:50:00.001-08:00

Time flies when you're fighting for your life and then fighting to have life get back to normal!

I thought it appropriate to end my month-long hiatus from blogging to recognize the fact that today is the first anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. This isn't really an anniversary to celebrate but I do think it's important to note it -- for me and for all of those who were there for me last March 10. In many ways, it feels like just yesterday that my gynecologist told me the news about the "grave" situation I faced and in other ways, it feels like a decade has passed since this time last year. It's funny -- I don't think I've ever admitted this to myself or others but I think I knew everything I was up against the minute he told me that I had some sort of cancer. I didn't want to admit it at the time but my gut told me all along that my treatment (...and its aftermath) was going to be a rough ride and not something that would be over quickly. But I always knew I would survive it. And I have. And I will continue to survive it even on days when I struggle to understand how and why this happened and am pretty frustrated by some of the minor inconveniences and issues of my post-cancer treatment life. I'm just as determined on this March 10th as I was last March 10th not to let the cancer get the best of me...and on most days, it doesn't.

So, congratulations to me and my friends and family for surviving this past year because I know that it wasn't just a struggle for me but for everyone in my life.

Winter of My Discontent: Saturday, February 6, 2010

2010-02-06T11:26:00.001-08:00

Yes, I do realize that I'm misusing this reference to Shakespeare (if you don't know what I'm referring to, look it up!) but it just seemed an appropriate title for the post since I'm pretty miserable on this blizzardy winter day. Why am I miserable? Oh, I don't know, maybe it's because:

I'm overwhelmed with nearly every aspect of my life -- from the things I have to do, to the things I think I should do, to the things I want to do. It's all just totally overwhelming to me. Totally. I would list everything -- which ranges from searching for all of my 2009 medical receipts in order to write-off my medical expenses, to writing long-overdue Christmas thank you notes, to launching the Junior Committee (fundraising committee) for the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance -- but honestly, if I did, you'd fall asleep before finishing the list. It's long and I just don't know where to begin.

I'm sick and tired of dealing with the Plantar's wart removal wound on my heel, which frankly, has caused me as much pain and suffering as my hysterectomy incision (just the incision, not the aftermath of the hysterectomy). Maybe more, actually. If you saw the bottom of my heal, you'd lose your appetite. Guaranteed. Despite its grotesque appearance, the real thing that's bumming me out is that it's keeping me from working out and everyone who knows me knows, that ain't good. I'm like a thoroughbred horse that has to be exercised everyday. Thus far, I've only managed about an hour and forty minutes on the stationery bike in the last 10 days. Not good. At all.

I know someone who has escaped this weekend of snowy misery (about 18" at press time) while I'm stuck here to shovel, pray that the power doesn't go out (I'd really lose it then!), eat all of the unappealing morsels of food in the house, and ponder when I'll be able to drive again. I mean, I'm happy for those who could escape but misery does love company after all, right?

My hair is growing back in a less than desirable fashion. I know I should just be happy to have hair on my head but I had such high hopes for how it would grow in and now, alas, those hopes have been dashed. My post-chemo hair sucks. Plain and simple. It's kind of wirey and very wavy and I have a curly rat tail developing in the back. Please see photo below and then try to tell me you wouldn't be equally miserable if your hair was growing in that way?

That's not me, by the way, but it's really that bad (check out http://rattaildreams.blogspot.com/ for some awesome examples of rat tails). And while I could cut it, it's going to have to grow someday so why not now? I'm so desperate about this situation that I actually googled, "How fast does hair grow?" last night and discovered that it grows at a rate of about .5" per month, which is what I thought. I can only imagine how great my new style is going to look for my brother's wedding in humid Charleston, SC during Memorial Day weekend, which is just a short 16 weeks away. I suppose if I'm really disgusted with how it looks, I could just shave my head and make Brenda join in the festivities. I miss Brenda! To clarify, I don't miss having to wear a wig but I liked that hair. It was the best hair - not style, just hair - I ever had and I miss it. I miss the texture. I miss the color. I miss it. Okay, I better shut up so as to avoid a "be careful what you wish for" scenario someday in the future.

I'm gaining weight. Everyday. Well, maybe not everyday but I've continued to gain weight following treatment and it's upsetting to me. I think I'm about 126 lbs right now, which is about 10-13 lbs lighter than my all-time high. While I know 114 lbs may not have been optimal, I really liked being super skinny and having much smaller hips than I've had since the 9th grade. I know some of the weight gain is muscle, as I've been working out with a trainer and swimming a ton, but a lot of it isn't. I'm still doing (or, at least trying to do...) the anti-cancer diet but let's face it, it's hard when you're social life is back in full gear. I really wish I didn't have such a wicked sweet tooth. It would all be so much easier. Sigh.

My constant hot flashes. They come at the most inopportune times and they interrupt my sleep. They just suck.

Yep, I think that just about sums up the list of my grievances.

Perhaps I'm starting to experience the post-treatment crash that so many cancer survivors experience when they re-enter the real world? It's a world in which their friends and family expect them to just pick right back up and resume life as normal because they look healthy again and aren't puking on a regular basis. But it's not the same world they left the day they were diagnosed. This new world is filled with a much different (better?) perspective on many activities of daily living, as well as a much, MUCH shorter attention span. It's often a lonely and frustrating place -- one that, as you already know, you really don't ever want to have to experience.

Or, perhaps, Old Man Winter has just finally got the best of me after the second consecutive weekend of crap weather? I mean how much snow can one gal raised in the mid-Atlantic region take? This is just not what we're programmed for. The occasional 4-6 inches that gets you out of work on a weekday? Sure. Bring it! But this?!? This is INSANE. And I think it's making me go crazy, slowly but surely.

What to do?

Well, first, I'm going to wrap up this rant because while it's therapeutic to bitch sometimes, I really need to stop wallowing in my misery. Second, I think I'm going to hobble outside to shovel again so as to make sure I can get out of my house if I need to for some reason. Although, what that reason would be, I can't imagine. And then, maybe, just maybe, I'll actually start to tackle some of the things on that daunting to-do list.

Wish me luck on both getting some stuff done and snapping out of it!

Reunited...:Thursday, January 28, 2010

2010-01-28T13:21:00.001-08:00

...and it feels so good! Who or what have I been reunited with, you ask? Vicodin, my friend. We're back together for a limited engagement and I gotta tell you it's a happy reunion. I had yet another minor surgical procedure this afternoon, hence my reunion with vicodin. Fortunately, this one was not of the gynecological sort. I had enough of those in 2009 to last me a lifetime!

Here's the deal: I've been plagued by Plantar warts in my heel for the past couple of years (actually, they showed up at about the same time the first symptoms of my cancer appeared and that's probably not a coincidence...). I had a cluster of about 12 -18 in the bottom of my heel and while not painful, they were a pretty big nuisance. Frequently, it felt as those I was walking on a pebbly beach. Yeah, not cool, especially when spending a lot of time training for a triathlon.

So, I decided enough was enough and that it was time to have them burned out/off (nothing like smellin' your skin burn!) since all previous treatments proved unsuccessful. The whole procedure lasted just about an hour and a half and was relatively painless (thanks to about a dozen shots of some numbing agent into my heel...).

I'm home now resting comfortably in front of the TV with my leg up...and with my beloved vicodin in my system. As for the recovery, I should be walking without my surgical boot (it's really hot, let me tell ya) within the next couple of days and exercising again in a week or two.

That was the big excitement for the day. Perhaps now that I'm laid up, I'll finally find the time to post all of my holiday and BVI pictures...hmmm...we'll see.

Four Months!: Saturday, January 23, 2010

2010-01-24T07:46:00.001-08:00

Today is my four-month wellness anniversary and guess how I celebrated? With exercise, of course! It was a sunny and relatively warm (48 degrees or so) day so I headed down to the GW Parkway trail and did a five and a half mile run/walk. It felt great!

Another important event occurred today. My friend Jori gave birth to her son, Alexander Britton Tulkki, at 3:13 p.m. PT. Alex was a big boy weighing in at 8 lbs and 9 ounces! Congratuations to Jori and Mark on their new arrival. I can't wait to meet him!

Welcome, Alex! You look just like your mommy.

The Lululemon Manifesto: Friday, January 22, 2010

2010-01-22T13:17:00.000-08:00

In thinking about my New Year's resolutions, I was reminded of the Lululemon Manifesto and thought I'd share it with you in two ways:

First, with artwork...

Next, with just the text because, while the art is cool to look at, it's a tad hard to read...

Drink FRESH water and as much water as you can. Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.

A daily hit of athletic-induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions, helps you be at peace with yourself, and offsets stress.

Do one thing a day that scares you.

Listen, listen, listen, and then ask strategic questions.

Write down your short and long-term GOALS four times a year. Two personal, two business and two health goals for the next 1, 5 and 10 years. Goal setting triggers your subconscious computer.

Life is full of setbacks. Success is determined by how you handle setbacks.

Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself.

That which matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least.

Stress is related to 99% of all illness.

Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

The world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you 2 steps behind. DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW!

Friends are more important than money.

Breathe deeply and appreciate the moment. Living in the moment could be the meaning of life.

Take various vitamins. You never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health.

Don’t trust that an old age pension will be sufficient.

Visualize your eventual demise. It can have an amazing effect on how you live for the moment.

The conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. Choose a positive thought.

Live near the ocean and inhale the pure salt air that flows over the water, Vancouver will do nicely.

Observe a plant before and after watering and relate these benefits to your body and brain.

Practice yoga so you can remain active in physical sports as you age.

Dance, sing, floss and travel.

Children are the orgasm of life. Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you have them.

Successful people replace the words “wish”, “should” and “try” with “I will”.

Creativity is maximized when you’re living in the moment.

Nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce.

Mediocre is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, and will give you a lousy life.

lululemon athletica creates components for people to live longer, healthier and more fun lives. If we can produce products to keep people active and stress-free, we believe the world will become a much better place.

Do not use cleaning chemicals on your kitchen counters. Someone will inevitably make a sandwich on your counter.

SWEAT once a day to regenerate your skin.

Communication is COMPLICATED. We are all raised in a different family with slightly different definitions of every word. An agreement is an agreement only if each party knows the conditions for satisfaction and a time is set for satisfaction to occur.

What we do to the earth we do to ourselves.

The pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness.

I love this list and while I don't practice all components of it, particularly the yoga part (much to my yogi cousin's chagrin), I think they've got most things right. I'll be back with my 2010 "I WILL" list (a.k.a. my New Year's resolutions) once I have hammered it all out. I've got a lot of balls in the air these days so it's taking some time (like, the whole first month of the year!) to sort things out.

Otherwise Engaged: Monday, January 18, 2010

2010-01-18T08:18:00.000-08:00

No, not me, silly. Ha! I just did that to get your attention. But someone is engaged. This was a big weekend for the McGihon family: Not only did my "baby" brother, Bobby, turn 30 on Saturday but he also proposed to his girlfriend, Ansley, and she said YES. It's still early yet but between my great check-up and Bobby's engagement, 2010 is shaping up to be a MUCH better year than 2009. Amen to that. Congratulations to Bobby and Ansley on their exciting news! I am very happy for them both...and for their dogs, River and Coach, who will be probably equally happy to spend the rest of their lives together, too.

In other news, my sprint triathlon training is progressing nicely (...just under 10 months left until showtime!). In fact, I think my swimming must really be helping my running because I just ran outside (it's a gorgeous day for mid-January) for the first time since the Turkey Trot at Thanksgiving and I was barely winded after running about 4.5 miles in 40 minutes. Yay me! I should be in good shape for the Monument Avenue 10K I'm planning to run in late March.

Okay, off to get a million things done during this federal holiday!

Farewell, My Friend: Wednesday, January 13, 2010

2010-01-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

Well, I knew this day would come. I think I'm really ready for it. (And I think my parents are too since they've shouldered a lot of the burden as of late.) However, I'm still a little sad. River, my loaner dog, is heading South tomorrow to be returned to his rightful owner (my brother, Bobby, in case you're just joining...).

The fact is, I'm back to my old self again, which means I'm running around like a crazy woman and am rarely home. Obviously, this is not condusive to having a 90 lb. Lab who needs lots of exercise and wants company all of the time. As I've told many people, I knew there was a reason I didn't have a dog before I got sick and my post-treatment lifestyle has been a big reminder of that reason. I just don't have time...or the space...or, frankly, the patience.

So, while I won't miss finding my bathroom trash can partially emptied every time I come home (because I rarely remembered putting the trash up or closing the bathroom door...), or having dog hair all over my mostly black wardrobe, or paying large vet bills on top of my own medical expenses, or being relegated to one small corner of my queen bed so that he can stretch out comfortably, or having him wake me up at about 5:30 a.m. everyday to be fed and walked (...in the dark, bitter cold), or having him want to play with his nasty toys at the most inopportune times, or...well, you get the picture, I will still miss him.

I will miss our long walks, our trips to the dog park (where I endured dozens of dirty looks due to his humping issue), the way he patiently laid by my side or at my feet everytime I got teary during my treatment, and most importantly, I will miss seeing just how excited he is to see me after everytime I've been gone -- whether for five minutes or for five days.

So, his departure is sad...and I must confess that I'm a little weepy as I write this. As one friend just pointed out, his departure is a watershed moment in my post-treatment life. He was always going to go home after I was better. And I am 100% better now so it is time. It's a new year, I'm healthy again, and it is time for River to be reunited with his master, who has missed him terribly.

Thank you, River, for being my constant companion during the dog days of treatment this summer. Your affection was one of the best complementary therapies I arranged for myself. I will miss you and can't wait to see you again.

We had our last walk together with my mom this morning. This shot was taken when I stopped by my parent's later to drop off a few more of his things for my mom to take with them when they return him to Bobby this weekend. It was so cute, he wanted to follow me out so we let him. Always a gentlemen, he walked me to my car and gave me a kiss goodbye and only left the side of my car after my mother called for him to come inside for a treat. He loves his treats!

Oh, and you can see above, "Brenda" has been on vacation since we left for the BVIs. My hair is pretty thick (actually, thicker than before I was sick...) and while I still don't know that I like that I look like I might prefer women, I'm just so much more comfortable and seem to have fewer hot flashes without her. Another watershed post-treatment event, wouldn't you say?!

Vacay is Over: Monday, January 11, 2010

2010-01-11T09:34:00.000-08:00

All good things must come to an end, I suppose. Vacation is over and it's back to the grind. Stay tuned for many updates from the holidays, my trip to the BVIs, New Year's resolutions, etc.

Okay, back to work. Sigh.

BVIs Bound!: Sunday, December 27, 2009

2009-12-27T17:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I wasn't sure I was going to but I'm pleased to report that I survived all of the holiday festivities. I'm in the middle of packing for what I hope will be a very relaxing, fun 10-day vacation to the British Virgin Islands, during which I will kiss 2009 goodbye and usher in what will hopefully be a much, much better year.

At press time, I'm totally stressed out as I try to pack for the trip and take care of last minute to dos. I have a 7 a.m. flight tomorrow, which will be my first in a year and I have to say, I haven't missed flying one bit. I'm dreading security. I'm dreading everything about the flight but I know I'll be happy once I get to St. Thomas.

So, I'm off. I'll be be back on or around January 7th once I've returned from sailing through paradise.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Merry Christmas!: December 25, 2009

2009-12-25T04:04:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope that Santa is good to you this year. He sure has been good to me. If you'd asked me to predict on March 10, 2009 how I'd feel on this Christmas, I could never have imagined I'd feel this happy or healthy just three short months following treatment. It is the best present I could get and I'm more grateful for my good health and happiness than words can express.

I'll be back over the next few days with more holiday celebration photos so stay tuned! Have a wonderful day with your family and friends.

Love and Politics: Tuesday, December 22, 2009

2009-12-22T04:06:00.000-08:00

Wow! Almost another full week has gone by since my last post. It's crazy season full of holiday gatherings...and errands...and it's hard to keep up! As you may recall, the first weekend of December was a whirlwind for me: Michelle and Jim's wedding was on Friday night and I hosted a political fundraiser for my friend Elena, who is running for the Georgia State House of Representatives, on Saturday evening. Here are some shots from the weekend of "Love and Politics." Enjoy!

All the ladies getting pretty in the Hotel Monaco.

The gorgeous bride-to-be ready for her dress!

Me and Michelle ready for the chapel. (By the way, I've given up loading vertical shots properly. Nothing I do works. Very upsetting.)

The bride and groom pre-ceremony.

The wedding party in front of the Old Town Trolley, our transportation for the festivities.

The bride and groom post-ceremony/pre-reception.

The bar at the reception.

Now for Saturday's fundraiser: The hostess and the candidate.

The tablescape.

Stump speech.

Loyal supporters: Melissa S., me, Elena, and Kristin W.

Obligatory candidate kissing baby shot.

Me (sans Brenda) with the lovely Parent sisters: Elena, me, Denise, and Diana.

Gobble, Gobble: Wednesday, December 16, 2009

2009-12-16T15:13:00.003-08:00

Okay, so I know it's pretty pathetic that Christmas is next week and I'm just now posting some highlights from Thanksgiving. But it's crazy season so you'll just have to cut me some slack. Below are some shots from our lovely Thanksgiving. Enjoy and stay tuned for other photo updates soon!

We had an informal white wine tasting I put together for Michelle and Jim's wedding wine. If you'll recall, Michelle and Jim's wedding was the week after Thanksgiving. Fortunately, we all agreed on the best whites.

The happy couple: Michelle and Jim were wonderful additions to our Thanksgiving dinner.

Ansley and her parents were another wonderful addition to our day. What a good looking group of people: Don and Bonnie Foster with Ansley and Bobby.

Me and Bobby with our eyes half-closed. Oh well. We tried.

The feast! It was just as delicious as it usually is. Good job Mom and Dad!

And finally a shot of the hostess with the mostess. My mama who pulled everything together beautifully!

Three Month Stats: Monday, December 14, 2009

2009-12-14T09:17:00.001-08:00

Just back from a great check-up with Dr. E. Here are my three month wellness stats:

Weight = 123 lbs., which is a 9lb. weight gain from my all-time low of 114 lbs.
CA125 = 9!!!
HE4 = TBD; have to call back later in the week for that.
CT scan = 100% clear!!!
Physical exam = Nothing remarkable and Dr. E continues to be proud of his crooked incision, claiming that it's one of his straightest ever. Whatever.

While I'm thrilled with most of my stats, as is Dr. E, I'm on the fence with the weight gain. I think this is mostly because I know it's due to holiday indulgences, and not muscle gain or some other healthy cause. Oh well. I'll get back to my healthy, anti-cancer lifestyle in the new year, I suppose.

Dr. E and I talked a bit at the end of the appointment and once again, we both agreed that we think my cancer was found just in time so that it could be totally decimated, never to return. I think we're both pretty optimistic at this point that I'll achieve a five-year cure. I like him so much better when we agree about things.

Anyway, that just about sums up my first check-up. I delivered gifts to all of the chemo nurses (manicures at Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa), Katy (a manicure and a bottle of my new favorite Bordeaux), and of course, Dr. E (a bottle of Petron for when he's had a long, hard day and needs to drink alone and a bottle of Bordeaux to share with his wife).

*Apologies to Melissa S. for "borrowing" her stats update style. Just seemed appropriate...

All Clear!: Wednesday, December 9, 2009

2009-12-09T10:44:00.001-08:00

I'm due for my first check-up with Dr. E next week (I have one every three months for the next two years and then every six months until I hit my five year cure) and one of the items ordered up for the appointment was a pelvic and abdominal CT scan. I didn't expect to hear the results of the scan until next Monday's appointment but Dr. E had his nurse call me this morning to tell me that everything on the scan looks good. Yay! I'm off to get blood work this afternoon and hopefully, my CA125 and other levels will be just as good as the scan.

Oh, and yes, I know I've been deliquent in updating lately. And by now, you know the reason why. Just busy and happy. I will be back soon (maybe tomorrow?) with "Gobble, Gobble" and "Love and Politics." Stay tuned...they'll be tons of pictures!

Giving Thanks: Thursday, November 26, 2009

2009-11-25T14:37:00.001-08:00

As you can imagine, this is a particularly special Thanksgiving for me and my family. I am thankful for so many things today it's hard to know where to start but here goes (in no particular order):

I AM THANKFUL FOR...

You, who continue to read my blog to keep up with my progress.

The fact that my stage IIIa ovarian cancer surrendered so easily in battle and that it is 100% gone. I am a lucky gal. Don't think I don't know that.

My parent's love and total devotion, which helped carry me through my treatment but has always been something I could count on.

My friends. All of them. Everyone came through for me when I needed them the most this year and that is something for which I will always be thankful.

My extended family, all of whom supported me and my parents so generously throughout the past year. Particularly, my Aunt Patty, who is no longer with us. Her prayers, cards, and calls were so comforting to me.

Loaner dog...and my brother for loaning him to me. The dog really pissed me off yesterday with that pillow shredding incident but he has been there to lift my spirits during some pretty dark days. I can't tell you how many times during my treatment I had a mini-breakdown while writing or taking care of medical administrivia at my desk (a.k.a. the dining room table) and every time I did, he'd come right over with his big brown eyes and cock his head, as if to say, "What's wrong, Jennie? Don't you worry. It's going to be okay. I'll take care of you."

My employer's excellent short term disability policy (six months full pay and benefits!) and my colleagues who encouraged me to take the time I needed for treatment and healing.

All of the really wonderful people I met along my wellness campaign (a.k.a treatment), including my doctors, nurses, medical technicians, therapists (of all sorts), random hospital chaplains, other cancer fighters/survivors and their family members. I owe all of them so much and am so happy that they came into my life even if it was for a pretty crappy reason. I've met the most interesting, brave, smart, generous people. That has been a true gift in my journey.

Feeling like my old self again just eight weeks after finishing treatment. As you know, I've had a fair amount of anxiety about various parts of me being permanently damaged/altered following my two surgeries and six rounds of chemo and today I'm so relieved to know that they're all functioning normally. You have no idea. So relieved!

The fact that my mother is a great cook. Today's meal is going to be so yummy! And, yes, I'm having some of the free range turkey my father is preparing -- to do anything else would be un-American. Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, peas, cream corn, and salad (my one contribution)...here I come!

All of the hair on my body, particularly my eyebrows, eyelashes, and new G.I. Jane buzz cut.

Finding a real purpose in my life. This disease took some pretty important things away from me but it has given me something to be passionate about and I'm really grateful for that. I have already started working with many of the leading ovarian/gynecological cancer organizations on their awareness building and fundraising efforts and I'm so energized by it. Hokey? Maybe. But so true. I'm not sure that all things happen for a reason. However, I do wonder if I, with my fearless nature, health care policy/communications background, pleasantly aggressive personality, and "inside the Beltway" relationships, was meant to beat this insidious disease and to feel so lucky for having been able to do so, that I would make it my life's mission to do what I can to help women overcome this cancer? I don't know. But if I was, I happily accept the challenge.

The ability to be around my friends and their children and to feel no bitterness that I won't have biological children of my own. I lost that ability from time to time over the past year but I'm okay now and I'm very thankful for that. To be perfectly honest, I was never that jazzed about giving up my beloved alcohol for what is essentially 10 months of weight gain, only to then have to push the watermelon-sized weight gain out of a hole the size of a...I don't know...pea? Lima bean? Also, I like my perky chest and frankly, I was equally unexcited to think about it expanding to epic proportions only to then have it deflate to resemble wilted water balloons. The biological baby thing was a BIG bummer but it's okay. I know I will be a mom someday but just not to "mini-mes." But you know what? A lot of times you don't get mini-mes even when you have biological children. And furthermore, I feel luckier today than women who get married thinking that they will have biological children, only to endure years of heartbreaking infertility issues. At least I know what I'm dealing with: an adoption attorney or a gestational carrier. Oh, and by the way, when the time comes that I'm trying to have children you should know that I won't be soliciting op eds about the situation. I've been through enough on the reproductive front so I expect that everyone will support me in whatever way I choose to create my family and I'll be grateful for that, too.

The book Anti-Cancer and the diet changes it promotes, which helped me defeat my cancer quickly but also just make me feel so much better everyday now. I just feel lighter now that I'm not weighted down with tons of crappy meat and a lot of dairy. And I'm really grateful for my much smaller butt that came along with those diet changes. Let's hear it for veggies!

And, finally, the fact that I'm in good enough shape already to get out there to run/walk the 33rd Annual Turkey Trot race today! So, I'm gonna run now to trot the Trot. My goal is to run two of the three miles morning.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Marley and Me: Wednesday, November 25, 2009

2009-11-25T14:05:00.001-08:00

I didn't think that I would post today given that I was busy finishing up work and personal errands before the holiday weekend but given what went down here, I found some inspiration. See below.

What's all of that, you ask? That would be one of my mother's Christmas gifts - a custom made decorative pillow for the Charleston house - after River, er Marley, decided to shred it up while I was at lunch with my mother, my brother, and his girlfriend, Ansley. If the whole thing hadn't been so maddening to me, it really would have been funny. When we walked in from lunch, River was standing there wagging his tail to greet us. It didn't take long for us to question why he had feathers all over his face. My brother, Bobby, was the first to the scene of the crime so I let him handle the disciplining. Bobby neglected to mention to me that River really likes down pillows.

River's walk of shame down stairs following Bobby's disciplining, during which he got a heck of a lot more feathers in his face.

Isn't clean up fun?
As you can see, it was a team effort...

...that extended into the hallway.

It's a good thing he's cute because otherwise, River would probably be homeless this evening. Let's hope the holiday doesn't get even more, uh, interesting tomorrow.

The World is MY...: Tuesday, November 24, 2009

2009-11-24T11:30:00.001-08:00

OYSTER!

Well, at least it was this past weekend. Now that I'm healthy again though, I think it really is. On Saturday night, I attended Old Ebbitt Grill's Oyster Riot, which is an all-you-can-eat oyster and wine event that is now in its 15th year. Tickets to the two-night event sell out in like 10 minutes. And once you've been, you know why. They serve over three dozen award-winning raw oysters all night long, not to mention award-winning Sauvignon Blancs, jumbo shrimp cocktail, crab claws, fried oyster rolls, oyster stew with a fried oyster on top, and much, much more.

Despite the fact that I ate a boatload -- and I mean, a BOATLOAD -- of molluscs and crustaceans on Saturday night, guess where I headed to brunch on Sunday morning? None other than Hank's Oyster Bar in Old Town. What can I say? It was a beautiful day to head down to Old Town and since I am one shellfish-lovin' pescetarian, it just made sense. I highly recommend Hank's as a casual, relatively inexpensive brunch spot. They've got some yummy stuff on the menu, including delicious Crabcake Eggs Benedict, which is what I had.

Anyway, it was a very fun and super yummy weekend. Here are some shots of the action. Enjoy!

Me and Christy. Clearly, we forgot that an oyster and wine tasting should be taken seriously. Whoops!

This year's Rioters: Dave, me, Christy, and Tom.

Foolin' around again. Notice the blue lights in the background? Some in our group did not like them but I think they work just fine.

Me and Dave during a brief oyster break.

Two Months!: Monday, November 23, 2009

2009-11-23T09:42:00.000-08:00

I just realized that it has been exactly two months since I finished my treatment. Wow! I have to be honest -- it feels like about two years. Really. It's amazing how fast one can bounce back from ingesting poisonous chemicals on and off for six months. I would have no idea what happened to me except for my G.I. Jane buzz cut, the unfortunate scars on my stomach, and my MUCH lower alcohol tolerance (probably the one good thing!). I guess time flies when you're not living life in 21-day Taxol/Cisplatin/Carboplatin cycles!

That's all for today. I'll fill you in on the weekend tomorrow.

Week in Review: Friday, November 20, 2009

2009-11-20T03:59:00.001-08:00

Well, it's been a busy week, for sure. Where to begin? I guess I should start at last Friday since that's the last time you heard about what I was up to. So, I got in the car to brave 95S on a rainy Friday afternoon (left at 2:30 p.m. and it ONLY took 2.5 hours to get there...miracles do exist!) to head down to Richmond to attend a fundraiser for the International Children's Hospital, which is based in Richmond. Here's my quick analysis of the event: They sure do know how to throw a fundraiser in Virginia's capital. And they know how to dress for one, too. Really. This Washingtonienne (okay, I couldn't resist spelling it that way but I am NO Jessica Cutler) was thoroughly impressed. Anyway, the theme of the evening's fashion show and auction was "Treasures in Paradise" so they used an island theme for the decor and food and beverage. They served the most delicious seafood ALL NIGHT LONG, including things like raw oysters, shrimp ceviche, little scallop spoons, and my favorite -- lobster grilled cheese. Yep...it really was that good. This pescetarian was one happy camper!

I returned from Richmond on Saturday to attend my friend Michelle's bachelorette dinner party at Posh, which is in D.C's Penn Quarter. It was a fun and super yummy evening, despite the rude hostess. It's not even worth my time to list all of my grievances with her.

On Sunday, which was BEAUTIFUL, my mom and I went to a Benjamin Moore paint color class at Pottery Barn (learned good stuff about painting floors, MS!) and then I headed down to Columbia Firehouse in Old Town for brunch with Jill, Cassie (Jill's best friend from Duluth; yes, people really are from Duluth), and Alison. It was great catching up with Cassie, whom I met at Jill's 35th birthday weekend in Miami last year. She is medical technologist and lost her sweet mama to ovarian cancer, so she's been hugely helpful to me throughout my diagnosis and treatment.

Let's see, that brings us to Monday. Monday night my mom, me, Michelle and Jim went to see the taping of Kaleidoscope, which will air on FOX at 4 p.m. EST on Thanksgiving. I had never been to a taped show before, let alone a ice show, so it was really interesting to see how it's put together. And Scott's and Dorothy's performances were moving. I know, I know, ice skating is cheesy but it was a cool event and I'm thrilled that they put it together to help promote awareness of women's cancers.

I met my mom and Aunt Kathy for lunch at the bar of Restaurant Eve on Tuesday. We toasted Aunt Patty, whose three-person memorial service was that morning. Don't get me started about my aunt not having a memorial service for the whole family to attend. Sometimes I really think our Keller/Koch clan should be featured on Jerry Springer (wait, is he still on the air?). Who dies and doesn't allow their extended family to come together to grieve and celebrate their life? My Aunt Patty, that's who. Whatever. Tuesday night I brought pizza over to the Sigler's and had a great visit with sweet Baby Jay. There's nothing like snuggling a newborn.

Nothing much to report from Wednesday and Thursday. I'm just back from a wonderful 90-minute massage at The Healing Tree (thanks to my Deloitte colleagues!) and am getting ready for Melissa R.'s "Sips and Dips" party, which is always so much fun. For my part, I'm making toasted almond cheese spread with crab meat. Yep, no anti-cancer diet going on tonight!

Below are some photos from the Richmond gala, Michelle's bachelorette, Sunday brunch, and Kaleidoscope (you get a sneak preview!). Enjoy!

One of the models on the catwalk.

The well-dressed crowd.

Pretty centerpiece.

One of the buffet stations.

Folks started dancing on the catwalk at the end of the evening.

The bar at Posh.

Michelle and her new lingerie.

Lovely ladies! L to R: Beth, Donna, Michelle, Dianne (another cancer survivor!), me, and Chrissy.

The happy bride-to-be!

Brunch bunch: Me, Alison, Cassie, and Jilly.

Me and Michelle at Kaleidoscope.

Me and Mom.

A shot of the opening performance. Notice the colors?

Go Scotty!

A Good Reminder: Thursday, November 19, 2009

2009-11-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

Sorry for my M.I.A. status since last Friday. You know the reason for the extended silence by now, don't you? That's right. Sometimes I'm just too darn busy being busy, happy, and healthy to write everyday. And actually, I hadn't planned to write until tomorrow with my "Week in Review" update (there'll be photos, MPR!) but I got this note in my inbox this morning and it served as a good reminder of one of the main reasons I blog.

The two main reasons I started blogging two months into my diagnosis and treatment were: 1. for my mental health, as I found/find it extremely therapeutic, and 2. to keep friends and family updated on my progress in a (somewhat) entertaining and efficient manner. However, a third reason has emerged and it is now just as important as the first two were in the beginning of the nightmare. Now I blog to provide comfort, hope, and information to the thousands of women also dealing with the shit that is gyncological cancer. I've received several notes like the one below but I thought I'd share today's with all of you so you can see the inspiration I get from the brave ladies who read and want to learn more. Here it is:

Hi Jennie,

My name is Cindy. I have been following your blog for the past couple of months (love it!). Thank you for sharing your journey. It has been an inspiration and a comfort to me.

In July I was diagnosed with Stage II Endometrial cancer that had spread to my colon by way of endometriosis through my fallopian tube. I had a full hysterectomy and colon resection (sigmoid colon) on July 20. My surgical oncologist and my chemo oncologist disagree on the staging (chemo guy says stage 4) and I have chosen to go with my surgeon's diagnosis. In 5 days I will have completed 5 out of 6 chemo treatments (paclitaxel and carboplatin). So really, I have only about 3 /12 more weeks of chemo to go!! I have just started doing research on radiation (which is recommended for me) and I have managed to completely freak myself out about the side effects only one of which is severe lymphadema. Up until the surgery and the chemo, I have been super active in running, yoga, skiing - all the stuff that makes life fun! I am worried that the long term effect of radiation will take all of that away.

I remember in one of your posts that you were considering radiation or talking to your doctors about it. Did you decide not to do it? If so, would you mind sharing your thoughts with me?

Keep up the great blogging - it is so great to watch you heal!

Best Regards,

Cindy

See? That's pretty good stuff, isn't it? I'll be in touch with Cindy (whose real name, by the way, isn't Cindy; I protect identities when necessary) to let her know that, fortunately, I didn't have to endure radiation as well as chemo. I understand why she is freaked out because I was freaked out by the side effects of radiation I read about as well. I'll also tell her that no matter how bad it is during/after radiation, things will get better physically and emotionally after her treatment is finished. I'm thrilled to report that with each day that passes by, the nightmare of the past year is a more distant memory...AND that with the exception of the pretty awful looking scars I've got on the outside (still need to work on those!), everything else feels great. Hang in there, Cindy! This, too, shall pass and YOU will heal!

How's it Growin'?: Friday, November 13, 2009

2009-11-13T09:58:00.001-08:00

The state of my head and body hair seems to be of much concern to many these days so I thought I'd fill you in. My head hair is slowly but surely making a comeback. I'd say that I now have a slightly thinner version of what Demi Moore sported in G.I. Jane going on up top. No, I'm not saying I look as good as Demi Moore looked with her almost bald head, I'm just saying my hair color and growth is similar. As for the rest of me, I had my first eyebrow wax in over six months this morning at my beloved Sugar House. (*FYI local gals: Amy and Timi are my two favorite ladies for waxing and facials, Mercedes is awesome for massages, and Barry is my favorite hair stylist.) It's funny to think that I was actually excited about my eyebrow wax appointment. I'm tellin' ya...it's the little things that matter most as you come back from your visit to hell.

Anyway, as of last week, I'm shaving again on weekly basis. My underarms have come back fuller than my legs, which is fine by me. My theory is that my hair below the waistline is much thinner and slower to grow back because I had the stronger drugs inserted into my abdomen, therefore, not unlike the way of our great country, things are just a bit slower in the Southern region. Again, this is just my lay person theory but I think there must be something to it because I didn't notice this after my first three rounds of IV chemo.

So, that's where things stand today. Generally, I wear a knit winter hat for my walks with loaner dog and to travel to the gym but once I'm in the gym, I got au natural. So far, I haven't caught anyone gawking too much. Otherwise, I'm still all about wearing Brenda for work and social activities. At the rate I'm going, I think she'll be with me, at least part of the time, through the spring.

And, yes, I know I haven't addressed what's happening with "the hair down there." I think you can make a pretty good educated guess based on what I've described elsewhere.

Have a great weekend everyone! I'm off to do battle on 95S. Wish me luck...it is Friday the 13th afterall!

Where's the Love?: Thursday, November 12, 2009

2009-11-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

You read only occasionally now and you rarely comment. I'd take all of this personally except for the fact that I think it's a positive sign that you worry about me less and less each day. Hurray!

Tune In!: Wednesday, November, 11, 2009

2009-11-11T06:31:00.000-08:00

If you can, be sure to tune in this afternoon at 3 p.m. EST to The Dr. Oz Show. He's discussing ovarian cancer symptoms today with one of the brilliant (female) doctors I heard from over the weekend. The show airs on CBS Channel 9 here but check your local listings.

In other news, I think my uncle George is going to take my aunt Patty off of life support this morning. I'm so appreciative that aunt Patty was a part of my life, especially over the past six months. She sent me so many sweet, encouraging cards and called me a couple of times a month to see how I was doing. In fact, I think we had some of our best conversations during my treatment. What a gift.

Circle of Life: Tuesday, November 10, 2009

2009-11-10T08:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday afternoon at about 4 p.m. my friend Melissa S. (remember, she is/was my patient advocate) successfully delivered her second son, John Warren, who is known right now as Baby Jay. Jay weighed in at 8 lbs. 14 ounces and measured 21 inches. He's a big boy who looks a lot like his adorable big brother (who turns two on Friday!) and is perfectly healthy. Congratulations to Melissa, Geoff, and Thomas on their new arrival...and to Jay, who is the newest member of a great family.

Unfortunately, not all of my news today is so happy. Toward the end of our walk with loaner dog this morning, my mother and I received yet another unpleasant reminder of the circle of life. It seems that my Great Aunt Patty, who is the matriarch (or, "auntriarch," as she never had children) of the Keller/Koch clan, had a massive stroke last night and is in the ICU on life support in a hospital close to where she lives in Pennsylvania. At press time, my Uncle George and grandmother are with her at the hospital waiting to get more information from her doctors before deciding on next steps.

I have a new appreciation for and acceptance of the circle of life after my experiences over the past year, during which I've met so many wonderful souls fighting not to be taken before their circle is complete. Given this, my prayer for Patty this morning is not necessarily for her to live (as she is almost 80-years old and has enjoyed a very full life) but rather for her to experience only peace and comfort and joy and love in whatever world she experiences from this day forward.

A Moving Weekend: Monday, November 9, 2009

2009-11-09T09:46:00.000-08:00

I think you'll be pleased to know that I survived my whirlwind weekend, which was full of a mixture of very fun and moving events: Krista & Michael's church choir's performance of Requiem was beautiful. The pre-party dinner Layla made for me on Saturday was delicious and Melissa B.'s new condo looked amazing for her condowarming party. Michelle's Sunday afternoon shower was a lot of fun (her shower game was actually entertaining...a rare feat!). And Alison made another delicious dinner for our Mad Men viewing (the show keeps getting better and better!) last night. However, the real highlight of the weekend for me were the activities I participated in as part of the GCF's Inaugural Gyncological Cancer Awareness Movement Weekend.

I spent most of Saturday at an ovarian cancer survivors' workshop at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in D.C. (love the Mandarin and hope I get to eat at its four-star restaurant, Cityzen, someday soon!). During the day, I heard lectures from some of the leading gynecologic oncologists in the country(including Dr. Annette Bicher who is one of Dr. E's partners), had the opportunity to meet many interesting survivors (and was invited to join a local "Steel Magnolias" lunch group; they're excited about having a "young one" in the group), and had great conversations with representatives of all of the leading gynecologic/ovarian cancer advocacy groups to learn more about various ways in which I can get involved in awareness building and fundraising efforts. The lectures I heard were so informative; I learned about everything from the first documented successful ovarian tumor removal (it occurred on a farmhouse kitchen table in 1809; the tumor weighed 22 lbs.) to management of recurrant ovarian cancer to candidate agents for ovarian cancer prevention, which include Omega-3 fatty acids (duh!) and vitamin D (turns out my afternoons by my parent's pool this summer were better for me than I knew at the time!). What struck me most about the day was how many of the doctors got choked up at one point or another during their presentations. These people are dedicated to their work and might even hate this stupid cancer more than I do. It was a really powerful day and I'm so thankful that the GCF used part of its funds to produce it for all of us.

The conclusion of the GCF's Movement weekend were its half-marathon, 5K and 1K races on Sunday morning, which started at Freedom Plaza. My friends and I all completed the 5K and I was pleased to run the last mile of the race, which is the first time I've run outside in just about a year. Thanks to Alison, Kristin, Melissa R., Sarah, Molly, Erin, and Michelle for joining me! It was fun and it meant a lot to me to cross the finish line just six weeks after finishing my treatment. Below are some shots from the race. Enjoy!

The group (L to R): Molly, Kristin, Michelle, me, Melissa R., Sarah, Erin, and Alison. Not pictured: My friend Stephanie, who ran the half-marathon in my honor. Thanks Steph!

Sunrise over the U.S. Capitol.

Love this team's t-shirt!
A shot of the 5K racers just before the start. Survivors were given yellow t-shirts to wear.

Me!
Thanks!
Love these gals' hats: "Rock the Speculum"

Love this team's shirt, too. I'll have to figure out what my team is going to wear for future races.

Kristin, Alison, and Michelle approaching the finish line.

There they are waving to me. Sorry...very out of focus.

Stephanie's husband, Brian, and daughter, Dylan, as they waited for her to finish the two hour + half-marathon. Go Steph!

We enjoyed a post-race breakfast back in Alexandria at our favorite greasy spoon breakfast place, Table Talk.

Sarah and Erin.

Kristin and me.

Pescetarian: Friday, November 6, 2009

2009-11-06T05:51:00.001-08:00

You really do learn something everyday, I guess. And who would of thought I would have learned something from The Majestic's bartender last night while ordering the mixed grill special I enjoyed during a visit with Alison and her mom. I've jokingly referred to myself as a fish-otarian lately (and did so again in yesterday's blog post and when I ordered last night) but, as Mike (the bartender) pointed out, there is a well-established word for my evening diet: pescetarianism. Am I the last person to know this term or is this news to you, too? Anyway, I'm really glad to know that there is a legitimate label for the way I'm eating these days.

I'm off to the gym before a couple of appointments and many little projects today. I'm working part-time this month to ease back into things and today is my day "off," which means I'll just run around trying to get a million things done all day. And I do need to get a lot done today as I have a pretty crazy weekend ahead, including Krista and Michael's choral concert tonight; an all-day workshop for ovarian cancer survivors tomorrow and 5K race on Sunday morning, both of which are part of the GCF's inaugural Gyncecological Cancer Awareness Weekend; a condowarming party in the city Saturday night; and a bridal shower for Michelle on Sunday afternoon. I'm happily exhausted just thinking about all of it! Check back on Monday for a round-up of the whirlwind weekend.

Dieter's Digest: Thursday, November 5, 2009

2009-11-05T08:57:00.000-08:00

Perhaps because I just sat down to eat my homemade veggie sandwich for lunch or perhaps because I constantly get questions about my diet -- what I'm eating these days and more frequently, what I'm not -- I thought I'd fill everyone in. I don't believe in hard and fast rules about very much and this is particularly true when it comes to food. Why? Because I love it SO MUCH. I love all of it -- meat, cheese (my first love in life, actually...), pasta, seafood, veggies, fruit...everything! In fact, one time during a road trip a friend challenged me to name one food that I really didn't like. The best I could come up with: olives. And even though it's true that I really don't like them (too salty for me!) , I'll still eat them. Despite this, or maybe because of it actually, it was relatively easy for me to give up meat (red, white, and everything in between), dairy (even my beloved blue cheese...), coffee, some fruits, etc. early on in my treatment when I was doing a ton of reading about the positive effects a non-inflammatory Eastern diet (think vegan) could have on one's health outcomes. Now that I'm finished with with treatment, I have relaxed a few rules (not many, really) but here's what a typical day looks for me:

I'm vegan about 90% of the time for breakfast, lunch, and snacks throughout the day. I'll have a bowl of my beloved Ezekiel cereal for breakfast with non-dairy "milk" (I like coconut but almond or rice would do just as well; NO soy for me...it's got the estrogen), and either berries or raisins. As it gets colder, I'll probably go back to steel cut oats for breakfast again and will eat the oats with raisins or frozen berries. Snacks are generally a piece of fruit (I'm lovin' Gala apples these days) or some raw nuts (much healthier than roasted ones) or some carrots and hummus (hummus is a central part of my diet these days). Lunch generally consists of a delicious veggie sandwich. Today's selection: Carrots, broccoli sprouts, cucumber, hummus, pesto, and roasted red peppers on...you guessed it...Ezekiel sprouted wheat bread. Do you people know about sprouts? Well, if you don't, you should. My friend Christy and I have become obsessed with them lately (she's actually growing her own...). Here's a little sprout trivia for you: Famous for it's antioxidant content, broccoli sprouts can contain something like 50 times the sulfurophane found in mature broccoli, by weight, so you get as much antioxidant in 1 ounce of broccoli sprouts as you would if you ate 3 pounds of fully grown broccoli. Now you see why we're diggin' them?

Anyway, all of the rules are relaxed considerably for dinner. This is because I do love food and it is comfort for me (fortunately, that's never caused a big problem for me since I like mostly healthy food) so at the end of a long day I don't really want to be uptight about what I'm eating, particularly since I love catching up with friends over dinner at restaurants and their homes. And I would NEVER want to be "that guest" for which the hostess practically develops an ulcer when determining what he/she can make that will be acceptable. I find those people really obnoxious. So, at dinner I'm a wild fish-oterian. And sometimes a shellfish-oterian. In addition to wild caught seafood, I'll eat inflammatory things like butter, white bread, some cheese (although, I try to limit it to goat and sheep's cheese because those are the healthiest -- the smaller the animal, the better the cheese), and some other dairy if it's in a cream sauce or dessert or something. Also, every now and again (I can only think of two times, actually), I'll eat a grass fed burger. Oh, and I'll indulge in a veggie pizza every now and again, as well. See, I just can't live with hard and fast rules, which leads me to...

Alcohol. I love it as much as I love food. I come by that naturally from my McGihon genes. Now, if I wanted to lead a truly Anti-Cancer lifestyle, I would only indulge in one glass of organic red wine per day. Well, folks, that just ain't happening. At least not during this phase of my life. And I'm okay with that. I have cut back considerably but I will not try to claim I am or will ever be able to keep it to just one glass of red a day. These days I generally have two glasses of organic (to avoid the sulphates) white wine (red still isn't agreeing with me following treatment) about five days a week. If I'm out with friends on the weekend, it might be more. If I'm home alone, I might not drink at all.

What else? I'm not really regular about anything else with my diet and nutrition. I'm supposed to be taking a multi-vitamin and calcium supplements everyday but they cause problems for me (I made the mistake of taking my vitamin five minutes before eating my cereal the other morning and I barfed up all of my breakfast in my kitchen sink...fun times!) so sometimes I take them and sometimes I don't. I also really need to get into vegetable juicing as there is great evidence of its role in good health outcomes but here's the thing: I need to get a good juicer and they're not cheap and it's messy and my kitchen is small. I know, I know. I need to stop making excuses and just do it. Maybe that will be my New Year's resolution?

Anyway, that's it. That's what I am and am not eating these days. Hope that this clears things up for everyone.

What Do They Think?: Wednesday, November 4, 2009

2009-11-04T05:00:00.001-08:00

Well, I'm pleased to report that my first day back to work went just fine. Loaner dog survived it too. He was rewarded for his good behavior with a long walk to the dog park and some good playtime (in the dark, of course). Now that I'm at the computer for several hours a day, you can expect pretty regular blog updates once again. I've been meaning to write this particular post for over a month -- ever since my last treatment back on September 23. I ponder this question almost daily and did just this morning on my walk with loaner dog.

As I'm sure many other cancer patients would as well, I'd pay good money to know what thoughts go through a health care provider's head as a patient, particularly a young one, finishes treatment for a pretty serious diagnosis. They're all smiles and hugs and are filled with congratulatory statements but what do they really think about your prognosis? Do they think...

"Well, we've done everything we can and hopefully, she'll be lucky," or...

"Poor thing. She thinks she's beat this but I bet she'll be back," or...

"Well, hopefully she'll have some fun and live a good life before this rears its head again," or...

"Thank God this isn't my kid," or...

"Who knows...maybe she really will be okay because she responded so well to treatment," or...

And the list goes on and on. Maybe they think all of these things. Maybe they really don't think much at all. Maybe they just hope like hell that each patient they treat will be on the right side of the statistics even though they know in their heads -- and hearts -- that not all of them can be. No matter. Fortunately, I was taught not to pay too much attention to what other people think about me, which will hopefully allow me to let go of this question after writing this today and live a long, happy life.

Okay, back to my email clean out...you'd be amazed about how much time it takes to get your inbox and various project folders organized after a seven month absence.

Change is in the Air: Tuesday, November 3, 2009

2009-11-03T07:11:00.000-08:00

Change is in the air and in more ways than one: First, it's Election Day today in Virginia. So, it's out with the old and in with the new. I suppose we'll know by 8 or 9 p.m. or so who are new governor will be. It will be interesting to see if whomever we elect is able to do something about our traffic issues in nothern Virginia, which I've become keenly aware of during a few recent trips along the I-95 corridor. Doubtful. Second, we turned back our clocks on Sunday and along with that change comes pretty cold temps in the morning and dark skies by 5 p.m. I HATE IT WHEN WE FALL BACK. I walked loaner dog this morning in a polar fleece hat and my new puffy coat for winter and was still a littely chilly. Ugh. And there's one more BIG change...

Today is my first day back to work, except for a brief stint back in June, in about SEVEN months. I must say, I am *fabulous* at collecting a paycheck I don't have to work for. So, now it's back to the grind. Oh well, I guess I should embrace the fact that I'm well enough to work, right? Also, it really will be good for me to put my brain back to work a bit. Like my cardiovascular and muscular strength, my brain power has definitely been depleted a bit over the past several months so it will be good to work it out a bit. I think I'll adjust much better to my new work schedule than loaner dog. He's used to having me around or in and out throughout the day and now his bladder will be tested when I leave him for eight to nine hour stretches. I bet his "grandmother" will take pity on him and be over to get him out in the early afternoon most days that I'm in the office. Just like the rest of us, he'll have to learn that all good things must come to an end.

Gym Rat, er, Whore?: Monday, November 2, 2009

2009-11-02T06:20:00.000-08:00

I'm cheating on my gym right now and pretty soon I'm going to break-up with it. It's really sad because it's been a good gym to me but it's time we said goodbye. There's a new gym in town and while it hasn't really stolen my heart, it just makes so much sense to join in my head that I need to make the switch. Hopefully, if it doesn't work out with the new gym, my old gym will take me back. Regardless, I know I need to make the move. I'll get over my guilt soon enough...I think.

Okay, so here's the deal: My current gym, Energy Club, is super convenient to my house, is clean, has good equipment, great trainers, and offers Pilates reformer (at an additional cost) BUT it's about $80 per month plus the cost of Pilates reformer and/or training, which isn't cheap. As you know, I'm training for a sprint triathlon, which will be held next October, and since I SUCK at swimming, I really need to go to a gym that has a pool and certified swim instructors. And that's what my new gym, xSports, has got...plus, about 60,000 square feet more than Energy Club AND is half the cost. I mean, it's a no brainer, right? I shouldn't feel guilty, should I? But I still do. I think it's because I know that many others at my current gym are making the same switch and I'm not sure it will survive the mass exodus. In order to ease my guilt, I bought a package of small group Pilates reformer classes when I gave my thirty day notice to the gym. I know, pathetic right? But the Pilates really is helping rebuild my core so that's how I justified it.

I'll let you know how things go with the new gym...fingers crossed!

Success!: Friday, October 30, 2009

2009-10-30T07:05:00.001-07:00

I'm happily exhausted from the fundraiser I hosted last night to benefit the mission of the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance. The event was a success by any measure: many people attended, many people actually shopped, and most importantly, I think most had a lot of fun! I haven't been able to tally the total yet but I think we (me and my fabulous vendors) raised about $1,000, which isn't bad considering I planned it in about a month's time. Of course, after doing a post-mortem with my friend Christy later in the evening, I already know all of things I will do differently for next year's event to make it an even bigger success and to hopefully at least DOUBLE the amount of money we're able to donate.

Below are several shots from the event set-up so you can all see what beautiful and unique items we had on hand. I was too busy greeting attendees and selling drink tickets to take any shots of all of the folks who came but I'd like thank each and every one of them. In particular, I'd like to thank the man who came by with his second wife to tell me, with tears in his eyes, about his first wife's six-year battle with ovarian cancer. She happened to be treated by one of Dr. E's partners. I'd also like to thank the woman who attended who told me about her mother's courageous battle with the disease and how much she appreciated me doing the event. Oh, and I'd like to thank the endometrial cancer survivor who came to thank me for the holding the event, made a large donation, and put out literature about the upcoming inaugural Gyncological Cancer Foundation's Race to End Women's Cancer, which I'm participating in on Sunday, November 8. And finally, I'd like to thank my Aunt Annie, who happened to be in town for business, who surprised me by stopping by with my Uncle Chris (who also shopped for his wife) and purchasing a fabulous (and expensive) necklace from my friend Paula.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to the team at Food Matters for their great food and service; to all of my sweet and talented vendors for participating; and to all of my friends, family, and complete strangers for turning out and shopping! You have no idea how much it means to me.

I did a little play on words for the drink tickets. Clever me. I know...not really so clever.

Brooke and Christy figuring out the best way to display all of Brooke's stationery.

(PMC)2's beautiful silver jewelry. Thanks to Paula Coupe for participating.
I love Simple Terms' handmade cards and gift tags. Thanks to Brooke Harris for participating.

Walton Street Stationers has the best selection of cute personalized stationery, napkins, gift enclosures, invitations, etc. Thanks to Nancy Smith for participating and for her constant generosity.

All Dolled Up's unique stone earrings are fabulous! Thanks to Marlea Hebert for shipping her stuff down from Philly for the event and thanks to Brooke, Christy, and Greta for selling it.

I love Wendy Jarmol's stone and gold work creations. Thanks so much for participating, Wendy!

Fall FUNdraising: Thursday, October 29, 2009

2009-10-29T07:22:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been almost a week since I last wrote. I suppose that this shouldn't surprise me anymore -- it's just another positive sign that I'm feeling great and am not at home as much (at all?!?) to find time to write. Here's a quick update on what I've been up to over the past week: Friday evening I had a fun and yummy dinner with Shannon and Alison at The Majestic's bar. I don't love the atmosphere in the restaurant (think stark diner) but Alison and I always have a fun time at the bar so I wanted to Shannon to try while she was in town.

After I dropped Shannon off for a visit with her parents on Saturday, I headed down to Richmond for another fun evening with my Richmond friends. We ended up staying in and cooking (seared shrimp and scallops with butternut squash risotto...yum!) in my friend Kindra and Karl's new kitchen, which is gorgeous. Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera on me to take pictures but you can check out the ALMOST finished product at Keeping Up with the Kirkebys.

I came home Sunday evening and was treated to a delicious dinner of mushroom and leek quiche and salad at Alison's while we watched the first episode of Mad Men. We've decided that there's too much good buzz about the show to miss out so we've started a Sunday night viewing dinner party series for this fall and winter. Thank God for Netflix!

So, that was the weekend, which was pretty fun. Monday was much less fun as I spent a good portion of it fasting and then in the hospital waiting to get my chest port removed, which should be my last procedure of the year (and hopefully, many more years). Yay! I still have a series of diagnostic tests to endure in December but I consider any appointment that I don't have to fast and/or get IV drugs for a piece of cake.

I spent much of Tuesday running errands, including getting "Brenda" washed again, and continuing my upstairs organization project. I'm pleased to report that it's mostly complete and I'm feeling terrific now that I can see the floor in my study and my bedroom closet. Now I just have to tackle all of the paperwork that's still on top of my desk. Ugh!

And it's another busy, busy day today. I'm preparing for that first of what I hope will become an annual event: Shop for the Cure at Food Matters. I'm so grateful to the five jewelry and stationery vendors who have agreed to participate and donate part of their proceeds to the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance, and of course to my friends Christy and Tom for hosting the event in their private dining room. We'll see how it goes and what I need to tweak for next year!

Okay, I'm off to finish cleaning up my running shoes. Why? I managed to step in dog s--t this morning while out on my walk with loaner dog. As if I needed another unpleasant task?!? Oh well, I suppose it's retribution for all of the times I don't clean up his s--t when I walk him in the dark of night. Below are some shots from the weekend. Enjoy!

Shannon, me, and Alison enjoying the bar at The Majestic in Old Town.

What's prettier --the fall foliage or my loaner dog? I couldn't resist making him pose for this shot.

And then I let him have some fun with a branch he had no chance on conquering...

Recessionista: Friday, October 23, 2009

2009-10-23T16:11:00.000-07:00

I'm finally finding some time to write in the midst of a few busy days. My college roomate Shannon, who lives in San Francisco, is visiting right now. She's been in town for work and was staying at the new W hotel downtown this week so I met her there last night after a delicious vegetable curry dinner at Christy's. Apparently, the folks at the W rooftop bar royally screwed up her reservation the night before, so we were treated to prime seats and a great bottle of champagne. It sure does pay to complain (nicely) sometimes! While the W lobby is a bit of a scene, it's kind of worth putting up with that to experience the view from the rooftop bar on a nice evening.

We've had a great day thus far today. I used one of my fabulous Sugar House gift certificates this morning for a 50 minute massage (Shannon had one, too) and then Shannon and I went on a three mile walk down the GW Parkway. This week is peak foliage around here and it was so great to see it all on the trail. We had lunch at Restaurant Eve's bar and took advantage of its "Lickity-Split" $13.50 lunch special. I chose a delicious roasted beet salad and the risotto. Yum!

After lunch, we hit Alexandria's boutique district for a little retail therapy. Two of the spots we hit are my favorite consignment shops: Diva and Mint Condition. I've become quite a fan of the consignment store in recent months. Not so much to buy things but to sell things that either don't fit me anymore (never thought that any of my size 6 pants would ever be too big but, alas, they are) or that I'm just tired of and are too nice to just donate to the TWIG thriftstore. Anyway, I highly recommend these stores to any of you who live around here are looking good for a good deal on designer duds. I can't wait for the money to start pouring in so I can...go buy more new clothes (or, pay some more medical bills...drat!).

Speaking of paying medical bills, I have quite a few pending. Given this, and the fact that I still need to pay for half of my upcoming New Year's trip and a few other things, I'm thinking of getting to my babysitting roots and putting the word out that I'm open weekday evening sitting. Seriously. I mean, I enjoy spending time with my friends' kids and at $12-15 per hour, it may be just the way to cover cancer bills, Christmas shopping, and cocktails in the BVIs. Hmmm...have to think about it a bit more.

Here are a few kind of blurry shots of Shannon, me, and our friend Keira at the W last night. Check out the view in the background of the shot of Shannon. Okay, off to dinner at The Majestic in Old Town.

Celebrate Good Times: Wednesday, October 21, 2009

2009-10-21T06:07:00.001-07:00

Today marks four weeks since my last treatment (my official first month-iversary...to borrow a term coined by Krista and Michael Drescher...is Friday). Ahhh. It feels so great to be done and focusing on other things....like celebrations! The past several weeks have consisted of many of those, including one birthday, two post-cancer treatment parties, one wedding, and one baby shower. Here's a brief recap of all of the fun events:

Last IP Chemo Treatment at INOVA Fairfax: Wednesday, September 23

Dr. A, who is Dr. E's current fellow, came by to say goodbye during my last IP treatment. Dr. A and I got off to a rough start (I flipped out on him the morning after my hysterectomy when I discovered he and Dr. E had stapled by incision instead of stitching it, as I had requested for my first surgery...) but became fast friends. He redeemed himself by bringing me fantastic pathology results the second morning he came for rounds AND somehow he knew that I have a huge weakness for trail mix and brought me some every time he came to see me during my IP chemo sessions. Isn't he kind of dreamy? He looks a bit like George Clooney, right?

Okay, this is kind of funny. I took this picture of Dr. A discussing women's...uh...grooming habits and body art with two of my favorite nurses, Sue and Christine. Basically, he's become an expert in predicting what things will be like "down there" based on a woman's age and socioeconomic background. Feel free to reach out if you'd like to discuss offline. Trust me, it was a very amusing conversation.

Time to for the bubbly! That's Dad pouring the sparkling wine at the end of the day.

Grandad joined us for a toast in the hospital room and then treated me, Mom, Dad, and Aunt Annie, who was in town for work, to dinner at Sweetwater Tavern after we left the hospital. It was nice to have him here to celebrate.

Aunt Kathy's 50-something Birthday: Wednesday, September 30

"Brenda" needed a wash and style before Ali's wedding weekend so Mom and I ventured up to the dreaded Silver Spring on Aunt Kathy's birthday to get the wig washed and treat Kathy to lunch at Christina's, which is a great Italian restaurant around the corner from Amy's of Denmark. We were actually able to celebrate with Kathy two times this year. We spent the previous Saturday in Baltimore having lunch and visiting Ladew Topiary Gardens, which were breathtaking, with Kathy and her daughter, Heather. It's always fun celebrating anything with Kathy!

Post-Treatment Celebration at Food Matters' Pasta Night: Wed, September 30

Later that night on the 30th, I met up with about a dozen girlfriends for all you can eat pasta night to celebrate the end of my treatment. My friends were so great to surprise me with balloons (in the appropriate ovarian and GYN cancer awareness colors!) and toasts about "what they love about Jennie besides that she beat cancer." Of course, I totally *hated* hearing all of the great things they had to say about me. From left to right: Joey, Kelley, Alison, Layla, Julie, me, Kristin, Michelle, Christy, Melissa R., and Melissa S.

A close-up shot of the fantastic Alexandria Pastry Shop cake that said, "Jennie Won, Cancer 0" and the extra special teal ribbon sugar cookies that Christy's manager, Mary, made for me. They were delicious!

Ali and Pete's Wedding in Quechee, VT: Saturday, October 3

Rehearsal time! That's me (maid of honor), Ali (bride-to-be), and Millsie (matron of honor) before things got underway. I met (and fell in love with) Ali during our first year of college; Ali and Millsie grew up together in Hingham, MA. Millsie, who is also a cancer survivor, is currently getting her Master's in genetic counseling at Stanford. Needless to say, both of our crappy genes gave us a lot to talk about!

Ali about to practice her walk down the aisle.

The entrance to Murphy Farm, which is where the fun and yummy rehearsal dinner was held.

A shot of the gorgeous fall foliage and its reflection on Lake Pinneo.

Approaching Murphy Farm.

The pretty entrance table filled with the place cards.

The most important element: the bar.

The dining room where the dinner was held.

A close-up of the festive centerpieces.

The guest of honor: Pete and Ali. I think Pete kind of looks like a brunette Woody Harrelson. Agree?

Two of Ali's NYC friends: Christina and Julie.

Christina and me. We've been friends since the 7th grade when she introduced herself to me in Mr. Kennedy's social studies class. I introduced Ali and Christina to each other when Ali moved to NYC. Have you read The Tipping Point? I'm a connector.

Time to get pretty. Pete's mom and sister with Ali in the salon.

Ali's sister-in-law, Suzanne, and her daughter, Olivia, who was the flower girl.

Time for make-up!

Finishing things up.

Picture time! Obviously, I'm having trouble loading the vertical shots AGAIN. The gray overcast skies made for great light for the pre-wedding photos.

I couldn't resist getting a shot of the groom and his men relieving themselves during the photo session.

I think the photographer's shot of this will turn out great!

Just Married! Ali and Pete in their limo on the wedding to the reception at The Quechee Club.

Millsie and her husband, Steve, at the reception.

Our gorgeous flowers and centerpiece.

The Brooklyn hipsters: Christina and her husband, Andy.

So much love in the air!

Time to cut the cake! Ali's mom, who is a fantastic baker, baked all of the desserts, including brownies, cookies, and the wedding cake. Everything was delicious!

Jori and Baby T's Baby Shower: Sunday, October 11

Getting the tables ready at Kristin's great new house, which is where the shower was held.

One of the gorgeous centerpieces Jori's sister, Kristen, made for the shower.

The fantastic cupcakes Kristen also made. She blew up images from the invitation and stuck them in the cupcakes. Isn't that a great idea?

The centerpiece and the lox and bagels. I love me some lox and bagels! The fall brunch menu included: two egg stratas (one with meat and one veggie; delicious!) , lox and bagels, roast asparagus, roast potatoes, mixed greens with cranberries, goat cheese, and toasted pine nuts, pear tarts with carmalized onions and swiss cheese (delicious!), and cupcakes.

A rather blurry shot of the napkins I got in honor of Baby (Boy) T.

The bar.

Jori opening one of her fantastic gifts.

Jori with three of the five co-hosts. Unfortunately, S'Nokes and Mary Morgan couldn't be with us but were so generous to help from afar. From left to right: Kristen, Jori, me, and Kristin.

So, that sums up what's been going on post-treatment....for the most part. Stay tuned for picture of the Sigler's oyster roast and other upcoming fun October events. Off to continue my major organization project before spending the rest of this gorgeous afternoon with my friend Thomas.

Japanese or Bust!: Tuesday, October 20, 2009

2009-10-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I am not really into cars...at all. I drove a Toyota Corolla from my second year of college until March 2008, so for about 12 years. The only reason that I got rid of it is that I finally started having to put more money into it on an annual basis than if I had a monthly car payment. It was hard to say goodbye but I did. Forutnately, my parents were willing to give me a *great* deal on their third car -- a Volkswagon Passat -- so that I could replace my Corolla. While it's been pretty good to me up until now, I've had to put about $2,500 into that 2004 Passat over the past two-three months in order to keep it running. No joke. The latest repair was a wopping $1,400 to replace the damaged heater core. (Apparently, it is very dangerous to drive a car with a damaged heater core because you engine can overheat easily and it is very difficult to fix.) Needless to say, I'm not happy. I'm pretty sure that I've decided that I need to go back to my roots, so to speak, and sell the Passat (quickly, while it's working...) in order to purchase either a Hondo Civic or Toyota Corolla. I love how easily those cars handle. I love how cheap they are to fill up and that they get great gas mileage. I love that they are easy to parallel park. I love everything about them. My Passat might be nicer to look at but it's a royal pain in all other ways!

Speaking of pains, I had a lot of them last weekend, including the big car repair. They included leaving my cell phone in a taxi cab Friday night (I recovered it from Alexandria Yellow Cab yesterday afternoon), loaner dog puking on my bedroom rug on Saturday morning, and having my father discover that my neighbor's bathroom plumbing drains into mine. When it rains it pours! And it sure did pour last weekend. Despite the rain, I had a lot of fun catching up with T.C. girlfriends at Vermillion on Friday night and attending the Sigler's annual oyster roast on Saturday afternoon.

Alright, off to begin a serious cleanout and reorganization of my upstairs. Oh, and even though it may have taken me exactly a month to post them, I finally posted the Southern Swing photos I promised you long, long ago. Please refer to the "Southern Swing" post back on September 20 to find them!

Just Do It: Wednesday, October 14, 2009

2009-10-14T04:30:00.001-07:00

The tagline worked out pretty well for Nike so I'm following its message myself. As I mentioned before, I've decided to compete in the U.S. Women's Triathlon Series' sprint triathlon, which will take place in San Diego on October 14, 2010. The Ovarian Cancer Research Fund is the official charity of the U.S. Women's Triathlon Series so when my friend Jori, who lives in San Diego and has done this particular tri before, suggested we do it to celebrate the one year anniversary of the successful completion of my treatment, I was in! And others were too! So far, my cousin Heather, Krista, Jori, Jill, and perhaps one or two others are also planning to do it next fall.

Believe it or not, but I'm already starting to focus on training for the half mile swim in the San Diego Bay, the 12.5 mile bike, and the 5K run. The first step is rebuilding my surgery-ravaged core muscles with some Pilates reformer training. The next step is to sign up for swim lessons (no joke!) at the city's indoor pool. I think I'm going to tackle this in January. I know, it's kind of pathetic that I need swim lessons to better learn the freestyle stroke and proper breathing but I do. Then, next spring I need to get my friend Pete's extra bike from him so that I can start cycling on the roads. The running will be easy except for the fact that it's the last leg of the race and therefore, I will be exhausted by the time I start to run the 3.2 miles.

Here's the official site for the race, which includes a link to the race course. Check it out and let me know if you have any training tips. I'm all ears if you do! Oh, and just a heads up, there's fundraising for the race so I'll be hitting you up in the new year.

Two Week Hiatus: Tuesday, October 13, 2009

2009-10-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been nearly two weeks since I last posted and three weeks since my last treatment. I believe the two week hiatus is a record for me since launching this blog. So, how am I and what I have been up to?

I'm pleased to report that I'm feeling great and haven't been blogging because I'm super busy just living life. As you might guess, I'm up to my old tricks! This includes helping my Aunt Kathy celebrate her birthday two times before heading up to Vermont to serve as maid of honor in Ali's wedding on October 3, co-hosting Jori's baby shower this past Sunday, babysitting for a few friends several times over the past couple of weeks, attending a TWIG coffee to say hello and thank so many of my TWIG friends who have been so nice to me over the past six months, helping Melissa S. prepare for her annual fall oyster roast that is this weekend (the forecast isn't looking good...boo!), working on a few design projects, and running around with Michelle -- either at the dog park with River and Lucy or doing wedding errands.

Despite all of the things I'm doing with and for others, I'm actually making some time for myself. I'm walking every morning with my mom and River (always the 45-minute route now!), I've rejoined the gym and am starting Pilates reformer classes this week, and I'm planning my first annual holiday shopping fundraiser at the end of the month to support ovarian cancer research (I need to get the Evite out for that today!). Oh, and Alison and I are going to have a spa day on Friday at...you guessed it...Sugar House. I'm finally going to start using all of the fantastic gift certificates I've accumulated over the past several months to get some much needed massages and other treatments to try and spruce myself up.

Since we're catching up, I thought I'd give you a brief medical update. I had my last chemo planning appointment with Dr. E on Monday, September 28. We went over a long laundry list of topics but here are the highlights:

He recommended that I get both a regular flu and H1N1 vaccine this fall. I've never received a flu vaccine before (nor have I had the flu) and am highly skeptical about doing so, particularly since I'm not on planes or trains or any other form of public transportation these days. I don't know what it is but I'm just not into flu shots. I'll let you know what I decide to do about this one.
He wrote me a prescription for Tamoxifan, which is an anti-estrogen drug. I'll take 20 mg of it for at least the next five years but probably for the rest of my life. Fortunately, because my tumor was 92% estrogen receptive, taking an anti-estrogen drug should help suppress future tumor growth. Tamoxifan is particularly effective on microscopic cancer cells so I started taking it last week, which was two weeks after my last treatment. I figured if I'm going to take it I might as well get it started when it's most effective. No time like the present, right?
He wants me to make sure I get 1500 mg of calcium everyday to help ward off osteoporosis (you know, since I don't have any estrogen anymore at the age of 32 I'm at increased risk for that too...). Have any of you tried to do this? It's hard to take enough pills to get this amount and when I come close to doing so it causes other problems...if you get my drift. So, I'm taking what I can and hoping I get the rest from dark leafy greens. Oh, and my weight training should also help with the osteoporosis too.
Finally, we discussed when I'll see him next, which is in December. I'll have a CT scan, mammogram (good times!), and blood work before I go in for an exam (more good times!) with Dr. E. Depending on how things look, I probably won't have a CT scan every three months (too much radiation!) but I will have blood work done and see Dr. E every three months for the next two years. Then, if I'm still doing well, I'll see him every six months for the next three years. I'm considered cured at five years and I go back to being a normal, healthy person who only sees their doctor once a year.

Okay, I've got to go. The dog is barking for attention and I need to clear out to run several errands before heading over to hang out with the Pryzstawik kids for the afternoon and evening. I will be back tomorrow to give everyone an overview of another BIG project I'm going to work on over the next year. And don't worry MPR...pictures of various celebrations will be posted before the end of the week!

The Cowgirl Cure: Wednesday, September 30, 2009

2009-09-30T20:38:00.001-07:00

Today is Christina's and my Aunt Kathy's birthday. Mom and I traveled to Murlin (you know, Maryland) to get "Brenda" cleaned up for the weekend and treated Kathy to lunch for her birthday. As usual, we had a great time -- it was fun celebrating her birthday and the end of my treatment. I had many errands and tasks to do throughout the day to prepare for Ali's wedding weekend but I ended the day with a wonderful dinner with about 10 girlfriends to celebrate the end of my treatment. The dinner was held at Christy's restaurant (Food Matters) and we all had the pasta night special. Yum! Coincidentally, we all had the chance to meet and talk with the Democratic candidate for governor, Creigh Deeds. He was holding a fundraiser at the restaurant and took a moment to come over to our table, which was decked out with teal, green, and purple balloons (thanks MPR!). I took the opportunity of our introduction to make my ovarian cancer awareness plug and he shared his wife's own scary ovary story with me (she ruptured an ovary while pregnant and had to have emergency surgery to have it removed...the baby lived and just graduated from UVA). Anyway, it was a joyous celebration and I'm so appreciative of all that my friends did to make it so special -- from the balloons, to the teal ribbon sugar cookies (thanks Mary!), to the cake, to the Fodor's British Virgin Islands book Layla gave me (have I mentioned that's where I'm going for New Year's?), to the "what I love most about Jennie" toasts. It was so much fun! Group picture to follow.

I thought that after I put those sobering statistics up for all of you yesterday, I'd be a bit more positive today and feature a cool ovarian cancer survivor (you know, there are many of us out there...). Check out Gina DePalma. I may not be a kick ass pastry chef but I think I'm a bit of a cowgirl, too!

I have so much to catch up on with you all -- from the Souther Swing photos to Monday's appointment with Dr. E to a shot from tonight's festivities. Where does the time go? Well, I'm off to Vermont at 0500 hours tomorrow morning, which is when my parents will pull up to load my stuff in the car. Wish us luck on the New Jersey Turnpike and 95...it's a jungle out there! I'll be back with all of my updates on Monday or Tuesday when I've returned from the festivities.

The Grim Statistics: Tuesday, September 29, 2009

2009-09-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

The education campaign continues! I found all of this data on the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance's Web site. Here goes:

Ovarian cancer is the eighth most common cancer among women in the United States (2004).
Ovarian cancer has remained the fifth leading cause of cancer-related death among U.S. women since 1999. Mortality rates are slightly less for minority women than for Caucasian women.
Approximately 174,236 women living in the United States have or have a history of ovarian cancer.
One in 72 women will develop ovarian cancer (lifetime risk). One in 95 women will die from ovarian cancer.
The overall five-year relative survival rate for all women with ovarian cancer is 46 percent. This means that compared to women in the general population, five years from the time of diagnosis only 46 percent of women with ovarian cancer are still alive.
However, the survival rate improves greatly to 93 percent if the cancer is diagnosed at an early stage before it has spread. Only 19 percent of ovarian cancer cases are diagnosed at this local stage.
Approximately 75 percent of ovarian cancer cases are diagnosed at an advanced stage after the cancer has spread beyond the ovary.
The five-year survival rate for women with ovarian cancer has not significantly increased in the past 30 years—a mere 8 percent.
Women diagnosed with ovarian cancer from 1975 to 1979 experienced a five-year survival rate of approximately 38 percent. Today this rate is approximately 46 percent.
The issue of ovarian cancer recurrence is complicated. Research suggests that between 70 percent to 90 percent of all women with ovarian cancer will, at some point, have a recurrence of their disease. The risk of recurrence varies based on multiple factors, including the stage at diagnosis. For example, approximately 70 – 80 percent of patients with optimal stage III ovarian cancer will have a recurrence. In case you're wondering, I'm optimal stage IIC (30 percent recurrance rate)/IIIA and have the desirable synchronous primaries as well, so realistically, I'd put my odds somewhere around 50 percent.
From 2001 to 2005, the most recent period for which data is available, the median age at diagnosis for ovarian cancer was 63 years. Approximately 13 percent of women who are diagnosed with ovarian cancer are 45 years or younger.
Over the past decade there has been a slight decrease – less than 1 percent per year – in ovarian cancer incidence rates, however, during the same time, the actual incidence numbers increased by approximately 3,000 women.
During most of the past decade (1996 to 2005), the ovarian cancer mortality rate has remained stable while the breast cancer mortality rate has decreased 2.2 percent per year (1990 to 2005) and the cervical cancer mortality rate has decreased 3.4 percent per year in a similar time period (1995 to 2005).

In case it wasn't clear before, now you know while I'll continue to try to live life to its fullest everyday from here on out AND why I'll be crusading so hard against this cancer for the rest of my days.

Teal Toes: Monday, September 28, 2009

2009-09-28T03:43:00.001-07:00

Have you heard of this organization? I love its mission, which is actually pretty simple. In fact, I decided to send teal nail polish to many of my lady friends and colleagues during September to try and raise awareness myself. Problem is: I only sent or gave out about a dozen so far. It's actually pretty time-consuming to send individual notes and get to the post office to ship the packages and between my trip to Charleston and the ups and down of my last two cycles of IP chemo, the majority haven't been sent yet...but they're coming and your teal nail polish will be waiting for next September!

Thank you to all of my friends (the guys, too!) who painted their toes teal during September! They include Kristin and LEW, Cassie and Kate, Sara and Ella, the Rehoboth beach crew (see below), Michelle (see below), Mom, Christina, Kindra, and others I probably don't know about. Again, I so appreciate your efforts to help me spread the word about the disease that whispers.

Here are a few shots of some teal toes!

The Rehoboth beach crew's teal toes, including Claire's, Skei's, Irene's, Heide's, Lee's, Macon's (yes, that's a guy), and Chris' (another guy!)...I'm probably leaving out one or two.

As you'll see any kind of teal will do! That's Michelle's and my feet on the lawn of The Sanctuary in Charleston with our teal toes.

Kelly Confidential: Sunday, September 27, 2009

2009-09-27T05:37:00.000-07:00

Check out Kelly Ripa's campaign with Electrolux (gotta love those Electrolux vacuums...) and the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund to fight ovarian cancer. Please text Kelly...or buy a t-shirt...or send a virtual t-shirt to a friend...or all of the above!!!

Did You Know?: Friday, September 25, 2009

2009-09-25T05:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I realized that there's less than a week left in National Ovarian Cancer Awareness month and I haven't really shared any interesting or important information about the disease on this blog yet. So, I'll start today and share something each day until the end of the month.

Do you know how many notable people have battled this disease? Well, there's a lot. The list includes people like Coretta Scott King, Kathy Bates (surviving), Gilda Radner, McDreamy's mom (surviving), Angelina's mom, Dinah Shore, and Louisa from The Sound of Music (surviving). Check out the full list here.

Have a great weekend everyone!

The First Day...: Thursday, September 24, 2009

2009-09-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

...of the rest of my life! Did you know that is what today is? I wish I could tell you that it started in some extra special celebratory fashion but, alas, it did not. No, it started just like many others recently: Woke up at about 6:30 a.m. with River, then strawberries and Ezekiel cereal (still love that stuff!) during the first hour of The Today Show, and then a 30-minute walk with my mom and the dog. What's on tap for the rest of the day? Well, I just returned from purchasing eight dozen blush roses for all of my chemo nurses at Dr. E's office, all of whom I will see later today when I go in for my hydration therapy and the first of my last five Neupogen shots (a little more excruciating bone pain to endure but that's no biggie!). And since I'm feeling pretty good right now (remember, the Day 1 (IV) and Day 8 (IP) Taxol does not hit me nearly as hard as the Day 2 (IP) Cisplatin...), I think I'm going to do a design errand or two and then start digging out.

Digging out of what, you ask? Well, let's see: bills (think I have another fight with my insurance company on my hands...), mail, dog hair, blog photo postings (am going to get those Southern Swing photos up soon and a full recap of yesterday, as well), birthday thank you notes, my ovarian cancer awareness month project, which will most likely not make it to everyone until the month is over, etc. etc. I have a lot of catching up to do over the next month before I go back to work. And, in case you're wondering, I still have a lot of medical appointments as well. I'll give you a full run down on what the next several months look like for me after my last chemo planning appointment with Dr. E on Monday but the bottom-line is that while my formal treatment is over there is still much ahead, including a new anti-estrogen drug I will take everyday for at least the next five years but probably for the rest of my life (Tamoxifan), regular blood work, regular CT scans and perhaps other scans, a visit to the plastic surgeon to see what I can do to improve the look and feel of my scar short of a tummy tuck because, uh, well, there's really nothing to tuck and I hear it's a miserable surgery anyway, and much, much more.

Oh, and as for the future of this blog, I still haven't decided how long it's going to "live." I know it will live through the one year anniversary of my diagnosis (March 10, 2010) but I don't really know beyond that. I'd like to keep it to provide good news to everyone on my scans and blood work, my progress on my triathlon training (more on that in October...), as well as the various ovarian/gynecologic cancer awareness-building and fundraising activities I undertake, but part of me thinks it will need to be re-branded at a certain point, right? I mean, we know that Cancer was there now and we also know it's now gone so at some point, I think the name needs to evolve. I had a nurse suggest to me yesterday that perhaps the new name should be, "Jennie Won, Cancer 0," and I liked that a lot. Or it could be "Sans Ovaries," which is my Twitter name. Let me know if you have thoughts on re-branding/launch timeline.

Okay, I'm off to do stuff. Thanks to all of you who sent messages yesterday. They brightened my day as I lay there getting infused for THE LAST TIME!

On the Eve of Day 8: Tuesday, September 22, 2009

2009-09-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

It's 8:54 p.m on Tuesday evening. I just let loaner dog out for the last time tonight and am watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 as I wait to take a bunch of pills (steroids, cumidin, and a sleeping pill) before going to bed. At 8:54 a.m. tomorrow, I will probably be on my way to the hospital for my FINAL chemo treatment ever?!? There are no words to express the anticipation, dread, excitement, fear, happiness, and whole host of other emotions that I feel tonight on the eve of my final eight to ten hours treatment for the flippin' cancer that has both taken away and given me so much.

I want each and everyone of you who has written, called, commented on this blog, sent me a Facebook message, written my parents, cooked me a meal (let alone a vegan one!), given me a generous cancer gift (from autographed get well wishes from Glenn Close to pretty pajamas to life-changing books to massage gift certificates and on and on), etc. to know that the ways in which you've supported me over the past six+ months has made all the difference in my outlook and is one of the main reasons that I am and will remain cancer-free. It is true that our friends are the family that we choose for ourselves and, as I have said before but will say again, I have chosen well. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything. I hope that I am able to repay each one of you for your generosity someday but if not, please know this: I promise I will spend the rest of my days crusading against this awful disease, particularly raising money to find a good diagnostic test for and building awareness about ovarian cancer or "the disease that whispers" as it is known in cancer circles.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Time to go pop those pills...for the last time!

Southern Swing: Sunday, September 20, 2009

2009-09-20T16:24:00.000-07:00

At long last, here are the pictures from my last trip to Charleston and Richmond. As you'll see, it was a wonderful trip from start to finish! It makes me sad to think I won't be back until next spring or summer. I love the Low Country!

We had dinner with Bobby's girlfriend, Ansley, our first night in town. She suggested Wild Olive and I'm so glad she did -- absolutely delicious northern Italian dishes.

Reunited and it feels so good! River and Ansley's dog, Coach, checking each other out.

If you look closely, you can tell just how excited Coach was to see River. Sorry...I couldn't help myself!

The dynamic duo.

Mom took a brief break from painting the dining room set to enjoy some time lounging on Sullivan's.

I took many breaks from painting. This is just one of them!

The bride-to-be, Michelle, during her cocktail hour "sprinkle" at The Sanctuary.

Me and Mom in our favorite Adirondak chairs on the veranda of The Sanctuary.

My yummy cosmo!

Michelle showing off one of her gifts. What is that Michelle?!?

Michelle, me, and Mom.

A perfect Low Country sunset. Gorgeous!

Michelle on Sullivan's (a.k.a. my favorite beach in town). This was her first beach trip in several years and she loved Sullivan's as much as I do.

Heading out to downtown for dinner at the Blossom Cafe on Michelle's second night with us.

Enjoying the view of the Cooper River Bridge from the Market Pavillion Inn's rooftop bar following dinner.

Next stop: Richmond. This photo was taken sometime around 1:45 a.m at my friend Dave's house in Richmond. Obviously, it was a fun dinner party. Congrats to me for staying awake that late and congrats to Kindra for figuring out the timer on her camera! From left to right: Dave, me, Karl, and Kindra.

All smiles! Kindra and me.

Grease!: Saturday, September 19, 2009

2009-09-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

Okay, so here's the deal, sometimes you've just got to have some (grease, that is) to help you get through a hangover...or the Day 2 Cisplatin treatment of your third and FINAL cycle of chemo. And that's just what I did this morning! After a delightful visit to the dog park, during which River repeatedly humped a happy-go-lucky 10-month old Lab/Chow mix named Jupiter, Michelle, Lucy, River, and I headed over to Food Matters for a yummy brunch on the patio and I had...drum roll please...a BACON (perfectly cooked...has to be crispy!), cheese (just one slice of extra sharp cheddar), and egg sandwich on multigrain. That sandwich -- as well as the fries and the ginger ale that accompanied it -- hit the spot and was just what I needed to fight the mild, yet persistent, nausea I experienced throughout the morning. See...I break the rules when I need to and don't regret it in the least! Yum!

I'm holding up okay following this treatment but am tired right now. I packed a lot in today: a 30-minute walk with River, the dog park, brunch, a short 50 -100 yard "walk" with my grandfather for his daily exercise, a trip to Border's to shop for my grandfather's funeral music with him (don't ask...he's recovering from knee surgery at my parent's right now and is very focused on planning his Naval Academy funeral service in his down time), a dessert on the patio of La Madeline per my grandfather's request (it's next to the Border's and as soon as he saw it, he had to have a dessert...he's got a wicked sweet tooth!), a long chat with my good friend Ali whose wedding I'm in the first weekend of October, and that about covers it. Now I must give myself a shot of Neupogen before heading over to the Riddy's for some baked ziti and salad. Double yum for the day! Don't worry, I will be home in bed early, though.

Oh, and I think that I'll finally get around to posting Southern Swing trip photos tomorrow. We'll see how things go!

Day 2 for the LAST Time!: Thursday, September 17, 2009

2009-09-17T04:10:00.000-07:00

So, as expected, Day 1 went just fine. I was at the doctor's office for my infusion from about 8:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. I took my usual Benadryl-induced two+ hour nap, then visited with some lovely patients who were being infused next to me, then I had my yummy spaghetti lunch my mother had packed for me, and then it was time go home. I got home and rested on the couch the rest of the afternoon as I felt "blah," which is how I normally feel. I almost forgot that I needed to run to CVS to pick up my last prescription of Emend (super anti-nausea pills) for today's fun. It would have been really bad if I had forgotten as Emend is a wonder drug that allows me to hold things down for days following today's treatment. After CVS, I went over to visit with my grandfather and parents for a bit before heading over to the Whitmans for a meeting about Jori's upcoming baby shower. Again, I can function after my Day 1 treatment, I just feel rather tired and low-key.

So, I'm waiting for the call from the hospital for Day 2's Cisplatin infusion. I'll get there around 9 ish probably, start getting infused around noonish, will take my Benadryl nap (amen!), and then hang out the rest of the afternoon waiting to do my rotisserie chicken flipping at the end of it all. Good times! I will feel very bloated (my abdomen will be filled with about 2000 cc of fluid) and tired at the end of today's session and will probably just come home, drink an Ensure, and call it a day. Sounds awesome, doesn't it? Just so the poison does its job...that's all I care about!

Day 1 for the LAST Time!: Wednesday, September 16, 2009

2009-09-16T03:49:00.000-07:00

Well, we're back from our southern swing to Charleston and Richmond. It was a great trip and now it's back to reality: chemo, bills, and other kinds of life administration tasks. What better way to spend a gray and rainy Wednesday than to start your LAST cycle of chemo, right? I'm heading over to my parent's in less than an hour to drop off loaner dog (who, by the way, I think caught fleas at the end of our trip...so much for monthly Frontline!!!) before driving myself to and from chemo today. My mother decided it was okay for me to do this for two reasons: 1. I'm generally doing pretty well for the first 24 hours after my Day 1 treatment, which is just a three-hour infusion of Taxol (it takes about six or seven hours door to door) into my chest port and 2. She needs to spend the morning and afternoon preparing for my grandfather's visit for the next...week or two? As if she or my dad (he's really going to have to deal with this one...) need another patient! My grandfather had a knee replacement surgery about a month ago and they've decided to have him come stay for an undetermined amount of time to finish his convalescence. Again, I'm constantly amazed at what my parent's are able to handle together without falling apart: running a small business, keeping up with two high-maintenance houses, caring for me, now caring for Grandad, helping out with loaner dog A LOT, etc. etc.

Okay, so now that you know I'm back from Charleston in one piece and how I'll spending my day (and tomorrow and part of Friday for hydration therapy), I'm going to run and get ready for all of the fun and games. I promise to get the photos from our trip posted soon. Happy hump day!

...& After!: Sunday, September 13, 2009

2009-09-13T12:05:00.000-07:00

Well, we're nearing the end of another fantastic trip to Charleston. Michelle joined us for the past couple of days, which was great. It was sort of an unofficial bachelorette weekend for her so we did it up: the spa, a drink at and tour of The Sanctuary on Kiawah, several delicious meals out at some of our favorite places, an after dinner drink at The Market Pavilion Inn's rooftop bar last night, two bridge walks, and finally an unplanned but highly successful visit to Ooh! Events/Out of Hand for several bridal accessories. The weather has been perfect the whole trip, which always makes things even more fun!

I'm feeling good but have had a pinching cramp in my side for the past several days close to where I think my abdominal catheter hangs out under my rib cage. I can't figure out if the catheter is rubbing something OR if I just have a deep muscular issue from my lack of stretching. Hmm...regardless, it's highly uncomfortable, particularly if I take a deep breath or cough. Otherwise, no complaints. We're hitting the road early tomorrow to head to Richmond for a quick overnight stay with the Kirkebys (a.k.a Kindra, Karl, Henry, and Jack) before our return to reality (and treatment...boo!). I'm excited to see the progress on their new addition!

As promised, see below for the "after" pictures of the dining room project. What do you think? It was definitely a labor of love (and there's a thin line between love and hate...) but I think we're on the road to achieving the right look for the room. To be honest, my mother did far more painting than I did as the fumes really bothered me and I developed mild carpal tunnel syndrome from pressing down on the spray can with my pointer finger. (I know...how wimpy, right?) Oh, and be sure to check out what's coming next...wall/ceiling paint, a rug, custom placemats and window treatments!

A full Charleston pictorial round-up is promised before the end of the week. Have a great Monday everyone!

Voila! The new look of the dining room chair. Please refer to my recent "Before..." post for a refresher on the old look.

A shot of the entire "new" set in the dining room. The chandelier is from Ballard Designs. My grandfather made me the the sideboard in the background, which my cousin Heather painted and glazed for me years ago. I'm a big fan of reworking and recycling furniture!

Another view of the set with the corner cupboard in the background. My father got the corner cupboard from a job site. Good eye, Dad! Eventually, the dining room table will have some sort of coral piece as a centerpiece.

A close-up shot of the interior of the corner cupboard. We plan to add some coral accents to the shelves because coral will be the third color of the dining room.

What's next: My mom is getting double-sided custom placemats for a Christmas present from me (no surprises in this family!) -- one side will be the coral seashell print on the left and the other the khaki stripe; we're EVENTUALLY going to paint the dining room walls the coral color at the top of the left paint swatch and the ceiling the light blue on the top of the right swatch; we're probably going to make simple fixed roman shade curtains out of the khaki stripe for the window treatments; and I like the large loop sisal rug sample on the right with a navy border for the rug in the room. FYI - large loop sisals are MUCH more comfortable to walk on then small loop sisals or sea grass rugs.

33 and Cancer-Free - Part III: Friday, September 11, 2009

2009-09-11T06:43:00.000-07:00

I bet you thought you'd never see these! Well, here are my "33 and Cancer-Free" birthday party pictures, as well as some shots from my birthday luncheon, all for your viewing pleasure. Oh, in case you're wondering, I'm feeling great (have done the bridge walk the past two days), the weather is PERFECT down here, and our design project is moving along nicely. The only thing that I've failed miserably at is getting out all of my birthday thank yous and National Ovarian Cancer Awareness mailings. Oh well. Something's gotta give, right? Enjoy!

The beautiful centerpiece that my dad surprised my mother with, "For being the best mother in the world!" So true!

The stars of the show! Delicious Georgetown Cupcakes in chocolate ganache, vanilla squared, and lemon berry. Please note the "33" on the top of each cupcake.

Our bartender, Joanie, with the bar in the summer room. We had to move things inside due to the thunderstorms we had that night. Best laid plans, right?

A close-up on the bubbly and the "33 and Cancer-Free!" napkins. Details, details...

My beautiful girlfriends at the Whitman's pre-party (from left to right): Ali (in town from NYC), Christina (in town from NYC), Sara (a.k.a. S'Nokes; in town from Greenville, SC), Jill, Jori (in town from San Diego and expecting her first baby boy!), and Kristin.

Welcome everyone! From left to right: Alisa, Heather, me, Jill, S'Nokes, and Layla. I'm spening New Year's in the BVIs with Heather, Jill, and Layla, all of whom I spent last New Year's with in Jackson Hole. Needless to say, we're looking forward to this year's warmer temps!

A great pair of gals: My wellness campaign co-captain, Michelle, who is also the bride-to-be, and Alison, my faithful pool companion.

Pretty ladies: My cousin Heather, who is a nurse and yogi and my wellness guru, and Kristin.

Two of my favorite septagenerians: My dear Aunt Kay (in from West Palm Beach) and my beloved Granny (a.k.a. Dr. Denny McGihon; in from Denver). Don't they make 70+ look good?

Good friends Krista and Michael Drescher, who took many of these photos!

My pool posse: Alison and Jill

As you see, the cupcakes went fast...time for the toasts!

First, I toasted my friends for everything they've done for the past six months (and longer!)...

My first friend in the world: Elena, who was in town with her husband Briley from Atlanta. She is expecting her first baby in February and is running for the Georgia State Legislature. Talk about a multi-tasker!

Many friends: My patient advocate Melissa, who is standing against the wall on the left, is expecting Baby Boy Sigler #2 in November, S'Nokes, Jori, Michelle, my former boss, Susan (in the turquoise dress), and many others.

My best pal from junior and high school, Christina, who is a talented PA doing HIV/AIDS research in NYC, along with my Uncle Chris, Granny, and Chris' wife Gail in the backgroud.

Toasting my parents -- the best parents in the world, who have literally carried me through all of this. Thank you!
My mom's toast to our friends, my dad, and moi! For someone who REALLY hates public speaking, she did a FANTASTIC job!

Ahhh...toast done! Not the best shot of me and my mom but we'll take it. Time to party OUTSIDE (the downpour finally stopped!)!!!

Here comes trouble! Jill + Jennie + Jori + S'Nokes = TROUBLE with a capital T!

T.C. in the house! Several of my friends from high school (plus, Ali from UVA): Kindra, Christina, Elena, Ali and me.

Me and Papa Charlie toward the end of the evening. My dad and Kindra's husband, Karl, developed a bit of a "bromance" during the party and stayed up telling stories and drinking beer until the early hours of the morning. Good times!

My birthday luncheon at one of my favorite places, Restaurant Eve, in Old Town. My Aunt Kay, Jori, Kristin, Mom, and Melissa were all able to attend. It was just as delicious as usual!

Camera troubles again, hence the sideways view. Blowing out the candles on 33! Bet you can't guess what my wish is for next year?!?

One last parting shot...what a tasty, relaxing lunch. Unforunately, it was followed by a much less appetizing chemo planning appointment with Dr. E, which Jori attended with me.

My college roommate and dear friend Shannon couldn't make it out from San Francisco for the party but she sent me these gorgeous flowers. She was so thoughtful to have the florist do them in a teal vase and include a teal ribbon (you know, for ovarian cancer awareness...). Thank you, Shannon!

Before...:Wednesday, September 9, 2009

2009-09-09T04:51:00.001-07:00

Well, we made it down to Charleston yesterday without incident. Somewhere in the middle of rural North Carolina the pouring rain stopped and by the time we hit Charleston the skies were sunny and bright blue. This morning is relatively cool and sunny so I'm about to head out to do the Ravenel bridge walk, despite the intense lower back pain (contractions, really) I'm experiencing thanks to my Neupogen shots (the growth factor drug that boosts my white count). For some reason, the pain seems to bother me less when I'm exercising. Strange but true.

As promised, here's the "before" shot of our Charleston dining room design project. I don't know how long the project will take so I can't give you an ETA on the "after" shot but we're transforming this set so that is has a more Charleston/beach/cottage feel.

Happy Labor Day!: Monday, September 7, 2009

2009-09-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I've labored quite a bit this Labor Day weekend. It's felt great to have energy, to not be nauseous or to have the slightest hint of a metallic taste in my mouth, to spend time with friends, and to bleach the crap out of my kitchen!!! There's nothing like a good bleachin' session to bring a girl back, right? Unfortunately, I chose to do my marathon cleaning during the prettiest day of the weekend (perhaps the year?), which was yesterday. Oh well. I'm still glad I did it. You see, I've really let things go around my house since my treatment started and have depended on my mom to do the occasional bathroom scrub (and a few million other things!). But yesterday I took matters into my own hands and bleached the countertops, the sink, scrubbed the microwave and stovetop, mopped the floor, and even reorganized the cabinets (including moving about a dozen vases I've accumulated over the past six months out of the way...here we come TWIG donation!). I continued the cleaning spree this afternoon (in between joining Michelle for a trip to the stationers to select her wedding invitation and helping Jill celebrate her birthday) by vacuuming and mopping the rest of the first floor hardwood floors, which were in desperate need of it since loaner dog sheds about five pounds of hair on a daily basis. Ahhh. I feel so much better when my house is clean, don't you? And as much as I like it when it someone else does the cleaning, there's really nothing as satisfying as doing it yourself. Okay...maybe I inhaled too much of the bleach. Bleach, by the way, is not part of an anti-cancer lifestyle. The anti-cancer lifestlye promotes use of green, non-toxic cleaning products, which I support but just this once I needed my bleach. We'd been apart for far too long.

On top of cleaning, I attended a fun Labor Day cookout at the Whitman's on Saturday evening, during which I ate a DELICIOUS grassfed beef burger (I know...gasp!...gotta keep that red count up, right?) and some yummy sides, including Melissa R.'s potato salad (with bacon...double gasp!!), my Barefoot Contessa tomato feta salad (Ina never disappoints!), a green salad, Kristin's sinful blue cheese dip (triple gasp!!!), and a tasty fruit salad with my favorite white peaches for dessert (FINALLY... something on the anti-cancer plan!).

I have to get going and finish packing. Mom and I are hitting the road again tomorrow. We've decided to squeeze in another Charleston trip before my LAST treatment cycle, which begins on Wednesday, September 16. I'm so excited to get away for a week to do all of my favorite things down there: EAT. WALK. BEACH. SHOP. That about covers it! Oh, and we do have a fun design project we're going to tackle on this trip so you'll want to check in to see the before and after.

The Curse of Day 8 Strikes Again!: Thursday, September 3, 2009

2009-09-02T18:45:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't get my Day 8 treatment yesterday but NOT because my WBC and RBC counts weren't good enough. To the contrary, as of Monday, my counts were quite good. No, the reason I didn't have treatment yesterday is because Jan at Dr. E's office forgot to set-up my Day 8 treatment with the oncology unit at INOVA Fairfax, as I would discover during a couple phone calls with both the hospital and Jan around 8 a.m. yesterday morning. True story.

You know, here's the thing: We all make mistakes. I get that. And Jan has a REALLY tough job. But when your health care providers make mistakes, things get really SCREWED UP...and by the way, this is my freakin' life we're talking about here. Because of Jan's "Oops!" I waited around all day (well, not literally but I did keep a phone by my side all day...) anxiously awaiting the call to finally come in, only to learn at about 5 p.m. from the head oncology charge nurse at INOVA that even if I came in that evening when they finally had room for me, I still wouldn't start getting my Taxol until the next morning. So, she asked, "Do you still want to come in to spend the night even I can't get someone to start your drugs until the morning?" Uh, negative Ghostrider. The pattern is definitely full. I avoid a night in the hospital like the much anticipated swine flu.

So, after getting reassurances from the charge nurse that it's okay to get my Day 8 treatment on Day 9 and that it is okay that I took my steroids a full 36 hours before my treatment and that we'd be able to fit in my hydration and Neopogen okay on Friday, I calmed down and accepted the latest plot twist of my treatment. Here's what I want to know though, what does my third and final Day 8 have in store for me if the first two have gone the way they have? And, seriously, how much more fun and games can a girl teetering on the edge of reason take?

Wish me luck today! I think I'm gonna need it...

33 and Cancer-Free Photos - Part II: Wednesday, September 2, 2009

2009-08-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

Where have I been for the past week, you ask? Uh, I really can't tell you. I've been here...and there...and everywhere. For the most part, I've felt okay, although I am a bit more fatigued these days (that cumulative effect is finally catching up with me!), not sleeping particularly well, and until yesterday, had the same nasty metallic taste in my mouth that many of my friends have experienced/are experiencing during their first trimester of pregnancy. As for my anti-cancer diet, it's been non-existent. While I'm still not eating animal protein (except for seafood), drinking caffeine or alcohol, the rest of it has temorarily gone out the window as I basically eat carbs non-stop right now. I blame it on all of the steroids that I'm taking. I'm not stressing about it, if I want to eat something, I do. It will all normalize again once I finish treatment in 22 days!!! Yes, just 22 days until this crap is DONE!

Okay, where were we?!? Oh, yes, so since I recapped Thursday's pre-birthday activities, it's time to move onto Friday's festivities! I picked my beloved Aunt Kay up at the airport midday on Friday and afterward hosted a pre-birthday party for my friend's little ones -- you know, the two-year old set, who wouldn't be able to make it to Saturday night's bash. It happened to be Amelie's actual 2nd birthday so there were ice cream treats for the children (and adults!) and cocktails for their parents. Fortunately, we had much better weather for their pool party than we did for the adult's party on Saturday night. Here are some shots of the fun! Thanks to everyone for joining! Wouldn't it be fun to do this every Friday afternoon?

Everyone in the pool!

Some of the fifty+ set (grandparents and "play" grandparents) enjoyed catching up sans bathing suits...

Even baby Harper got her feet wet!

Gunter and Annika (a.k.a. the big kids) helped build a raft that others enjoyed...

We all scream for ice cream!

Annika, the best big sister in the world!

The birthday girl, Amelie

Our new friend, Genevieve

Leo!
Our regular visitor, Thomas

Kindra and her boys, Henry and Jack

LEW and Amelie hugging good-bye. Is there anything cuter?

Sisters!

After the pool party concluded (Henry and Jack were the last to leave...funny, so was their mom and dad at the adult party?!), my family (Mom, Dad, Bobby, Aunt Kay, and me) hit our favorite spot, Carlyle, for a delicious dinner. Then we came home and figured out all that needed to be done on Saturday for the big bash! At the rate I'm going who knows when I'll post all of the pictures from the party and other birthday celebrations but I promise to try and be in touch before the end of the week. Right now, I'm going to turn my attention to another project I'm working on while killing time before I'm called in for today's Day 8 treatment, which it looks like I'll be able to receive based on where my blood levels were on Monday. Fingers crossed! Oh, and here's a hint about the project I'm working on, check it out: http://www.tealtoes.org/

33 and Cancer- Free Photos - Part I: Saturday, August 29, 2009

2009-08-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a week since my big birthday bash and since I'm not experiencing the same kind of ass-kicking I did from my last cylce of IP (...far from it, thanks to 25 miligrams less of Cisplatin AND remembering to take my post-infusion steroids!), I thought I'd motivate to share some of the shots from all of the celebrations that took place between Thursday, August 20th and Monday, August 24th -- my actual birthday.

First, here's a few fun shots of River's play date with McKinley, which occurred in the middle of a thunderstorm in my parent's backyard on Thursday afternoon. We all threw caution to the wind and let the dogs swim with thunder and (some) lightning in the background.

Follow the leader into the pool! McKinley didn't have much pool experience before this date with River... ...but quickly caught on! Synchronized swimming anyone?

Togetherness.

After the dog's play date and the storm passed, I headed into the city for my friend Amelie's 2nd birthday party with her family. The chicken picatta dinner that her daddy, Chef Tom, made looked so good that I even broke down and had a piece of chicken along with a delicious summer succotash and sliced tomatoes. Oh, and we enjoyed killer peach cobbler for dessert!

Take 1: LEW and Amelie in their 2-year old ballerina outfits compliments of moi.

Take 2!

Take 3!

Well, I guess this is as good as it gets with two tired 2-year olds!

I ran from Amelie's birthday party to pick up my brother from the airport as he flew in from Gainesville, FL (where he's attending grad school) for the weekend's festivities. When we got home, I took a shot of the gorgeous roses my dad sent me for my birthday earlier in the day. Good job, Dad!

Slacker: Thursday, August 27, 2009

2009-08-27T04:46:00.001-07:00

Sorry that I've been M.I.A. since Monday...I guess I'm being a bit of a slacker this week. Oh, and I've been a bit busy, too. As you'll recall, Monday was my birthday so I had a celebratory lunch with my mom, Aunt Kay, and a few best friends at Restaurant Eve in Old Town, which was followed by a chemo planning appointment with Dr. E (remember I've referred to it as a fee generator before?) that my friend Jori, who attended it with me, felt was much more of a therapy session for both Dr. E and me rather than a real medical appointment. Later that evening, I had a nice quiet birthday dinner with my parents and Aunt Kay. My mom made one of my favorite dishes -- shrimp and scallop kabobs with cherry tomatoes, green and yellow zucchini, and mushrooms over brown rice. Delicious! It was a great way to end a wonderful birthday weekend.

On Tuesday, my mom and I drove Aunt Kay up to Gettysburg so that her sister could pick her up to host her for the rest of her visit. After dropping off Kay, we stopped in the GAP outlet in Gettysburg for a littel retail therapy and I finally got some new pants that fit me! Yay!

Yesterday I had a three-hour infusion of Taxol at Dr. E's office. After Monday's appointment, Dr. E decided that I should go back to having a short infusion of Taxol instead of the 24-hour slow drip infusion I had during last cycle in the hopes that the shorter infusion will do less harm to my white count. I slept during most of the treatment thanks to the Benadryl pre-meds (gets me everytime!) and then felt great the rest of the afternoon and evening. In fact, I had to return a table to Food Matters and ended up joining Christy, her daughters, and her sister Brooke, and her new daughter, Sadie, for an al fresco vegetarian dinner.

I'm waiting for the call from Fairfax this morning to go to the hosptial to get my three-hour infusion of Cisplatin today. I'm getting about 25 miligrams less Cisplatin during this cycle also in the hopes of it wreaking less havoc on my white count so that I'm able to get my Day 8 treatment this time. I'm optimistic that I'll feel better following this treatment for two reasons: 1. I'm getting about 10% less Cisplatin and 2. I'm going to remember to take my Decadron, which is a steroid, with my Emend, my anti-nausea med, this time. The Decadron should give me enough of a boost for the next three days that I won't end up hybernating all weekend long. We'll see!

Anyway, I know that I owe all of you pictures from the party and other birthday festivities but you'll just have to be patient as I probably won't get a chance to post them until I've recovered from today's fun.

33 and Cancer-Free!: Monday, August 24, 2009

2009-08-24T05:04:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday today. And while I still have two more cycles of chemo to endure, I am 33 and (detectable) cancer-free! It feels great to celebrate a new year...and boy, there has been A LOT of celebrating going on around here! I don't know about you but I like celebrating birthdays in a big way -- not just on the actual birthday but throughout the birthday week. I started celebrating this birthday on Friday and will continue until my next treatment on Wednesday. I'm happily exhausted from a weekend of dinners out, parties for the very young and the young at heart, crab feasts, barbecue by the pool, etc. There are photos to share of all of the festivities but since there are two more celebrations today, I'm going to wait to post everything tomorrow when it's all winding down.

Thank you to all of my great friends and family who helped me celebrate over the weekend and again today! You all mean the world to me and I so appreciate everything you've done for me -- not just this past weekend but throughout my life and especially over the last six months.

Party Prep: Friday, August 21, 2009

2009-08-21T10:08:00.000-07:00

I'm in full "33 and Cancer-Free" birthday party prep mode today so this is going to be short and sweet. I've already received some fun and beautiful early birthday surprises that I will share with all of you tomorrow morning. Off to do a million things! Keep your fingers crossed that I've got somewhat decent weather for tomorrow night's shin dig!!!

Julie & Julia: Thursday, August 20, 2009

2009-08-20T06:07:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened again last night. It hasn't happened recently so I thought maybe, just maybe, I'd stopped doing this. But I haven't. I passed out about half-way through "Julie & Julia" last night -- probably around 8:30 or 9 p.m. I'm very disappointed in myself...and to be honest, I was really disappointed in what I saw of "Julie & Julia" before I fell asleep. I'd heard wonderful things about the movie from a couple people who'd seen it and despite the fact that I related to both of the characters, it was just, well, average? The rest of my girlfriends agreed it was mediocre, too. So, I don't think it gets a thumbs up.

Anyway, I've got to run and get labs done and do a design errand before trying to fit a visit to the pool for River before our next thunderstorm hits. It's a sauna outside!

Happy Hump Day!: Wednesday, August 19, 2009

2009-08-19T05:52:00.000-07:00

No, I'm not referring to River's humping problem. Nothing much to say today so I thought I'd take a minute to wish everyone a happy Wednesday. I got many to-do items accomplished yesterday morning and my trip to evil Maryland (or, Mur-lin, as it is pronounced by many of the people who live there) was actually pretty painless. The lovely folks at Amy's washed and styled my wig within 20 minutes of our arrival (Brenda is looking very spiffy!) and then my mom and I enjoyed a very fun and delicious lunch with the ever-entertaining, Aunt Kathy (remember: she's Samantha Jones meets Kathie Lee Gifford?) Anyway, I had a low-key evening and started tackling my messy, dirty house in preparation for this weekend's houseguests -- first my brother and then Christina and Ali. Should be nice and cozy in my 930 sq. foot abode with a 90 lb. loaner dog and all of the extra adults. Oh well, the more the merrier, right?

Off to my oil change in Springfield! Then more errands, calls, and emails. Then pool with loaner dog. Then dinner & a movie with several girlfriends. Busy, busy, busy!

As If!: Tuesday, August 18, 2009

2009-08-18T05:37:00.001-07:00

As if I needed anymore medical bills, I got slammed with a $189 bill yesterday afternoon. And guess who it was for? Loaner dog! Being the responsible d'aunt that I am (d'aunt = dog + aunt), when I noticed that River had a bloody cut/scab thing on his head AND that he some pussy stuff on his you-know-what (plus, he peed like 3,000 times Sunday afternoon) AND that his nails were way too long, I (well, my mom and I) decided to take him into the vet yesterday afternoon (by the way, I know my brother will roll his eyes as he reads this...) to get it all checked out.

Anyway, the vet's office is great and runs far more efficiently than any of the human doctors I see but man, do they charge a lot of money! I guess they can since their charges are largely unregulated and all of their patients are uninsured (or 90% anyway), so why not?!? Dr. Bartl saw River and she gave us powder for the dermatitis on his head; an antiobiotic for his potential UTI, which she thinks is just confined to the prepuce; and sent him back with a vet tech for his pedicure. So...one appointment, two drugs, and one pedicure later, I was out $189. Ugh! Actually, I would have been out more but my mom ponied up for the appointment so I really just covered the drugs and pedicure, which I think was more expensive than what I pay for my own pedicures based on the bill breakdown. Double ugh!

So, that was yesterday's pain and today's will be driving to the aforementioned evil Maryland to get my wig washed and styled. "Brenda" needs to look good on Saturday night and since I haven't washed her yet, I think it's about time!

Manic Monday: Monday, August 17, 2009

2009-08-17T06:26:00.000-07:00

It's actually not too manic, really. I'm just back from my morning walk with loaner dog and I have about a dozen or so items on my pre-party to-do list to get going on and I'm going to try to catch up on all of my email and Facebook messages (I get so behind when I'm knocked out for a week). Oh, I was brave enough to check the weather for next weekend this morning: There is a pretty good chance of rain so PLEASE keep your fingers crossed that we don't get rain this Saturday evening. The party will happen rain or shine but it will be much more fun to have it poolside than in the darn house.

I had a great weekend; it was so fun to be social again after my hybernation and the low-key week that followed. Friday night I treated Michelle to a celebratory drink at Clyde's following our wedding dress shopping outing (so far, the dress I posted is in the lead!) and then we headed to her place where we grilled veggie kabobs with Jim and Lucy. As you'll see we dined alfresco on their back deck -- it was a beautiful evening. Following dinner, I met my good friends Kindra and Karl for a drink (and sinful dessert!) at Capital City Brewing Company (again, on the patio) and it was great to catch up with them for a bit.

Me and Michelle, a.k.a the bride-to-be.

Following our morning walk, River and I spent the day at the pool on Saturday afternoon and Kristin and LEW joined us after naptime, which was fun. Saturday night I attended the Riddy's housewarming party, which was such a great time. Their house looked FANTASTIC -- particularly, all of the design projects we had worked on and their new back staircase.

We pooled it again yesterday and Jill came over to join us. We spent several glorious hours floating in the pool catching up on life. And last night, I shared a couple of Pacificos and my favorite Guapos salad with my friend Chris, whom many of you gals only know as the "Hot Marine."

Okay, gotta get going. I've promised myself that I won't get sucked into the internet for hours this morning! MUST. BE. PRODUCTIVE.

Another One Bites the Dust: Saturday, August 15, 2009

2009-08-15T07:23:00.001-07:00

Well, it happened again last night. Another friend announced her pregnancy to me. (By the way, she did so in the most sensitive, loving way. I've posted an excerpt of her email below.) So far, since I was diagnosed on March 10, two friends have gotten engaged and six friends have either given birth, or are about to soon, or have just announced their pregnancy. And I know more announcements are coming...soon. We are in our early thirties afterall. We are supposed to be dating, or getting married, or trying to have babies. We are not supposed to be fighting cancer, particularly an estrogen-based reproductive cancer.

So, how am I handling all of these announcements, births, etc. in the midst of losing my fertility and being sidelined from dating and many other normal 32-year old activities? I'm not going to lie: It's hard. Very hard. But I'm handling it. Just like I've handled the other more minor set backs I've been dealt in life. I am fortunate not to have been born with a jealous bone in my body (okay, so I am a little jealous of gals with zero cellulite but that's it!) and virtually no fear or anxiety issues so that makes it all much easier. And I also inherited fantastic coping skills (or so I was told by the shrink I saw for a little while). Oh, and then there's the 10 mg of Lexapro I now take daily (but that I only plan to take through the end of the year...). It all helps.

I debated as to whether to do this post or not because I'm tired of making people feel guilty for their good health and fortune but at the same time I think I need to lay it all out once and for all...for myself and for all of you (all of you being my girlfriends and fellow cancer patients who follow my blog). So, here's what the whole thing looks like to me:

Am I happy for you when you announce your big news, whatever it may be? ABSOLUTELY.

Do I think to myself, "Why am I not worthy of this experience and joy?" ABSOLUTELY.

Do I have faith that someday I will know a different, yet equally wonderful, joy? ABSOLUTELY.

Do I feel sorry for myself for a little while (maybe a half a day or a little more) after each piece of news is shared? ABSOLUTELY.

Does it get easier for me each day I move farther away from having had the BIG H and closer to finishing my treatment? ABSOLUTELY.

Should you share your news with me as naturally and sincerely as possible because I am your good friend afterall? ABSOLUTELY.

Do I know that all of you will be happier for me than probably all others when it's my turn to announce great news, whatever it might be? ABSOLUTELY.

Do I accept that life just sucks sometimes and that we're all dealt heavy burdens and that other than this unfortunate year, I am a lucky girl with a charmed life? ABSOLUTELY.

And, do I know that many of you probably wish everyday that somehow, some way you could give me the joy you have or are about to have? ABSOLUTELY.

So, that's how it looks. Is it complicated and tricky to navigate for us all? ABSOLUTELY. Will it all be "okay" several months from now when I'm done with treatment and have celebrated the start of a new year on a 46 foot Catamaran with a great group of friends somewhere in the BVIs (more details later...), am dating again (I guess I will but I've kind of enjoyed the break from the few pretty broken men I've encountered in my early thirties), and am in the midst of training for the sprint triatholon I'm going to do with Jori and a maybe a couple others out in San Diego in October 2010 to celebrate my one year wellness anniversary? ABSOLUTELY!!!

I'm off to run a design errand before heading to the pool for the rest of this gorgeous, hot day, but before I go, here's some of my friend's email...

Subject: News

Hi Jen,

So, I have news (as suggested by the subject line.) I'm pregnant. 13 weeks today - due Feb. 19. We just started telling people after the second ultrasound last Friday. I decided I would tell you in writing because that way you don't have to pretend to be elated on the phone when I know it's way more complicated than that. Don't get me wrong, I know you are an awesome friend and will be happy for me and Briley, but all the really tough stuff you are going through right now cannot be made easier by the fact that you are dealing with it right when so many friends are getting pregnant and having babies. It's just more reminders, as if you needed any on a daily basis!

I just read your latest update and like knowing exactly what goes on with the IP treatment and what it is supposed to accomplish! The ports are pretty inconspicuous, and I hope they aren't too bothersome. Briley and I can't wait for your party, and Mom and Dad are planning on coming with us for a little while, too, if that is still all right!

Can't wait to see you soon. Thinking of you.

xoxo E

Congratulations, Elena and Briley!

Rotisserie Chicken Anyone?: Friday, August 14, 2009

2009-08-14T05:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it's the end of another week, which means it's another week closer to the end of the treatment phase of my wellness campaign. Hooray! I just returned from my morning walk with loaner dog and don't have too much on the agenda today before 3 p.m. -- just a bunch of birthday party calls/errands and a little house cleaning. At 3 p.m., I'm meeting one of the co-captains of my wellness campaign, Michelle, at the J. Crew store in Georgetown (I am willing to face the horror of Georgetown driving/parking for good friends!) to help her try on their collection of...drumroll please...wedding dresses! Michelle and her fiance, Jim, got engaged one week ago today and are already busy planning an early December wedding (no time like the present, right?). I couldn't be happier for the two of them and am thrilled to add another non-cancer-related festive event (events, actually, since every wedding comes with other fun pre-wedding events) to my social calendar. And I'm really honored that Michelle has asked me to play some yet-to-be-determined role in her wedding ceremony. Oh, and in case you're wondering, after a quick search of the J. Crew web site, here's my early pick for a great dress candidate for Michelle's petite frame and the smart, sophisticated look she wants to achieve:

So, that's today but before I go, as promised, here are some of the photo highlights of my first IP treatment. Unfortunately, though, I don't have any pictures of the aforementioned rotisserie chicken action that happens at the very end of each IP treatment. What the heck am I talking about, you ask? Well, it's like this: The point of IP chemo is to literally coat a woman's intraperitoneal (IP) cavity with poisonous anti-cancer drugs (in my case, Taxol and Cisplatin) so that every microscopic floating cancer cell is, uh, roasted? fried? You get the picture. Another way to think of the process is that it's like pouring maple syrup into a glass jar and trying to make sure that the top, bottom, and all of the sides are thoroughly coated after the pour. How do you achieve this for the IP cavity? You make the lady spend 15-20 minutes laying on each side of her body, including the left, right, back and stomach, to make sure the drugs make it everywhere. So, you feel like a big old oven stuffer roaster while you spend an hour doing this activity -- hence, the rotisserie chicken label. Yummy, huh?

Okay, chest port numbed so here we go! Needle in!

A close-up of my nurse, Anh, shooting pre-meds into my chest port.

Anh suiting up for next steps...

Here we go! Round one of Taxol via chest port...

Later that afternoon, Edith helped insert the needle and get the Cisplatin going into my abdominal port, which sits on my rib cage, as you'll see.

Sterilizing my numb skin for the abdominal needle insertion...

In it goes!

Beautiful, isn't it?

All sealed up and ready for action!

As you can see, I'm having trouble loading veritcal shots again. Anyway, here's a crooked view of ALL of the fluids that went into my abdomen during cycle 1. Work your magic, baby!

Back at home post-treatment with River dog...

FYI - this is how we "share" the couch.

Day 8 or Bust: Thursday, August 13, 2009

2009-08-12T16:38:00.000-07:00

WARNING: Yesterday was a long day and so this is a long entry. Enjoy, I think?!?

Writing feverishly to try to meet MPR's 9 a.m. coffee/blog-reading deadline but I think I'm going to fail. Miserably. Here goes:

So, Day 8 was a bust. A total bust. For those of you who don't know yet, I didn't end up having my Day 8 treatment yesterday. I'm not kidding. Trust me, I wouldn't joke about this. I don't and fortunately never will know what it's like to experience false labor, although I've heard the dreadful stories from my mother and close friend, but I think what I experienced yesterday is the ovarian cancer patient's equivalent. Can you imagine pumping yourself full of a bunch of steroids, which make it nearly impossible to sleep, the night before a planned treatment while wrapping your mind around subjecting yourself to another course of dreadful drugs that leave you bloated, nauseous, and experiencing shooting pains throughout the following week, only to be told that your goddamn white count is non-existent and that you simply cannot receive treatment? This, after about four or five hours of lying around in an uncomfortable hospital bed watching the Food Network (amen for Giada, Ina, Michael, and Bobby...)? False labor of sorts, no?

When I last left you I was going to pop into the shower and then pack up to go to the hospital. What I didn't share is that my mom and I had a small errand to do before going to the hospital. I had to stop by INOVA's Blood Donor Service office, which is about a half mile from the hospital in the same medical building as Dr. E's office, in order to have MORE blood work drawn for further genetic testing (at press time we're still waiting for a final conclusion on my bad genes...more later). Unfortunately, my veins weren't in a good mood yesterday morning so it took two needles and three med techs to get some blood out of them. And since traffic to Gallows Rd. was a bitch (will the roadwork by the exit ramp ever end?!?) and since my mother insists on driving in the far right lane so that she doesn't have to "stress out" to switch lanes close to the exit, we were cutting things very close to get to the hospital by my 9:45 a.m. deadline. (Note: I'm convinced if I videotaped my mother's and my treatment car trips/conversations and posted them on YouTube that we'd be come overnight internet sensations. Seriously. The bickering. The bitching. The sarcasm. The stories. It would sell in a big way.) You see, I have a two-hour window to get to my oncology unit bed from the time I'm called in. You'd think that would be easy since the hospital is only 20-30 minutes away depending on traffic but it generally proves challenging when factoring in time for a last-minute shower, packing up a loaner dog, picking up a mother, fitting in some last minute blood work or other errands, etc. etc.

So, I rolled up to the hospital entrance at about 9:43 a.m. I hit registration at just about 9:45 a.m. and once again, asked my clerk to call up to the oncology unit so that they knew Elvis, that would be me, was in the building and to hold my bed while I took care of the b.s. paperwork I have to do everytime I'm admitted. Registration went quickly and soon a high school volunteer (always brings back memories of my candy-striping days at INOVA Alexandria...Christina, how many darn baby caps did we make during all of those hours at the hospital?) appeared to escort my mother and me up to the oncology unit.

Upon entering the unit, I was greeted by another excellent nursing team, Sue and Amanda. Amanda is Sue's nurse extern for the summer. They were both FABULOUS and FUN and further proof that oncology nurses are the smartest, hardest working nurses of them all. (Hmmm...interior design or oncology nursing? What should my next career be? I'll ponder that one later I guess.) Anyway, we went through the usual drill: reviewed current medications, timeline for the day, etc. etc. Sue left shortly to finish my paperwork and promised to be back soon to numb my port access sites. She was back shortly but she had a surprise:

It seems that the hospital's pharmacists wanted to get new blood work from me (again, people?!?) in case my WBC and RBC levels had crashed since it was done on Monday afternoon. I was completely annoyed by this extra step, which would hold up the treatment process, and said aloud, "Are you kidding me? Who crashes that much in 36 hours? Okay, whatever."

Guess who crashes that much in 36 hours? Moi. Poor Sue. She was so afraid to come in to tell me that I wouldn't be receiving treatment afterall that she made Amanda accompany her to break the news a couple hours after the blood was drawn. Am I really that scary? I suppose that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...or a cancer patient denied. Anyway, Sue had just gotten off the phone with Dr. E's office when she came in to show me the results (ummm...yeah, so a normal WBC level is AT LEAST over 2,000 but ideally they like it to be around 3,500 or above for treatment; mine was/is 460) and the verdict was in from Dr. E: No Day 8 treatment for the Jenster.

I didn't remember this when I was flipping out about being denied treatment yesterday because I was in the "treatment zone" but I had been warned at the outset about the possibility of my counts dropping too low to receive the Day 8 treatment. Jan, in Dr. E's office, had explained that if this were to happen that I would just skip the Day 8 treatment, remain on the same schedule, and that they would make the appropriate adjustments to the next cycle's Day 1 and 2 drug levels (in my case, a 10% reduction of each drug) so that I might have better luck in receiving my Day 8 treatment during the next round.

So, after my meltdown with Sue, Amanda, Jan (via phone), and Edith (she is the oncology clinical specialist at INOVA and seems to take particular interest in her "IP girls," as she likes to refer to us), I wrapped my brain around a new thought: That it is okay that I didn't receive my Day 8 treatment. And that not having this treatment doesn't mean that I'm weakening my changes of beating this once and for all. Fortunately, Edith did a little fact-checking yesterday and told me late in the afternoon when I was waiting for my Neupogen shot (to boost that damn WBC) and my ride home from my parents, that NONE of her IP ladies have had a recurrence since they started doing this in 2006 -- even those who had missed some of their Day 8 treatments. Thank you, Edith. You are a gem of a clinician and a human being and I appreciate your reassuring tales from the oncology world.

My parents collected me just after 4 p.m. I went back to their house with them to see my loaner dog. We (that would be River and me) went on a walk together, which felt so good after lying around in a useless hospital bed for nearly six or seven hours. We returned after about 20 minutes or so and then it was time to load up in the car again to join my parents for one of their weekly rituals.

What do you do when your Day 8 treatment is a total bust? You bust on out in your militant lesbian/concentration camp victim/Eastern European marathoner/cancer patient hairstyle and hit Lobster Night at Shooter McGee's with your parents. I wish you all could see the scene in this West End restaurant at about 5:45 p.m. on Wednesday nights. If you're ever bored, looking for some good people watching, and have a hankering for a yummy lobster, please go check it out. I'll try to describe it as best I can but I will not do it justice: First of all, the interior is reminiscent of the Regal Beagle (come on, you remember it from Three's Company, don't you?) but darker and busier. The bar is filled with every washed up, single 50-something, who has a slight drinking problem (as is evidenced by the bloodshot eyes and rosacia that many of them sport) and is looking to feel just a little less pain after another long day in their dead-end Alexandria office job. As for the restaurant, it is filled with every blue-haired person this side of the River and inside the Beltway who is looking for a good deal on a good lobster. Again, I'm not doing it justice but I hope you now have some sense of the sad yet somehow wildly entertaining scene that surrounds me when I join my parents for this almost-weekly ritual of theirs.

My 1 1/2 pound lobster totally hit the spot! Truth be told, between the veggie pizza and pasta my mom delivered to me for lunch, the fruit smoothie she got me for dessert following the garlicy pizza and pasta, and the lobster I ate for dinner, I ate more food yesterday than I had eaten in the past seven. And it felt good. (And I know many of you are cheering in your chairs right now!) The highlight of my parent's and my dinner conversation was a discussion about River's humping problem (the problem being that he does it to anyone or anything constantly!) during which my mother lamented, "I mean we really need to work on this because I'm worried he's going to lose friends!" Huh? I mean, I love the dog too, Mom, but friends? Really? When did dogs get friends? I mean, sure they have playmates at the dog park whose private parts they like to smell and lick repeatedly but the social bonds of friendship? I think not. What she was referring to is that she isn't willing to have family friends' dogs over to play with him because she gets so annoyed with the constant humping. We all got a good laugh out of her deep concern for River's social life and I told them I was going to check into a dog training session to deal with the humping and the fact that he insists on sleeping in my bed with me. On the one hand, I love it but I think it's affecting my sleep, which just won't do.

River and I went on ANOTHER walk when we got home from dinner. I walked past a fellow T.C. alumni's condo while we were out. He, who happens to be a longtime paraplegic with a highly-stylized condo, was entertaining on his patio and looked so happy with his guests. I smiled, observing the scene. It reminded me of this simple statement, which I try to remind myself when things get crazy like they were earlier in the day: Just. Be. Happy. For. Today.

So, that sums up yesterday for you. Just another chapter in the book, right? I have nothing concrete on my agenda for today, which feels great. And the good news of no Day 8 treatment is that I will continue to feel good until my next cycle of treatment, which isn't until August 26. AND I WILL BE READY TO PARTY ON THE 22nd!

Power Smoothie!: Wednesday, August 12, 2009

2009-08-12T04:39:00.000-07:00

I only got about three chunks of two-three hours of sleep last night because I had to wake-up at both midnight and 6 a.m. to take...you guessed it...more steroids! I know that's as much or more sleep than many Americans get on an average night but it's not how I like to roll. I like a good six-eight hour stretch, at a minimum.

Well, I was just going to write about what I've done so far today (a great 30-minute morning constitutional with my loaner dog AND a fantastic homemade smoothie with the Hemp Protein supplement that my friend Jim gave me last night) but I just got "the call" from INOVA Fairfax. Time to roll! I have two hours to get to the hospital to claim my bed and get Day 8's treatment underway, which is a three-four hour infusion of Taxol that will probably take a total of eight - 10 hours. That's how it goes: Every hour of actual infusion time equals about two hours of hospital time after you account for pharmacy delays, pre-med infusions, post-infusion rotisserie chicken action (more on that later...), etc.

Okay, gotta go. Time to shower (never know when your next one is gonna be, right?), collect my things, and my mother!

A Good, Old Fashioned Ass Kickin': Tuesday, August 11, 2009

2009-08-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

Due in large part to the steroids that were still in my system on Thursday night, I was a little cocky about how I would handle the first round of IP chemo when I wrote. Simply put: the first half of my first round of IP chemo kicked my ass. I've been pretty down and out since going out for a 30-minute walk last Friday morning (must have still had some leftover steroids in my system...) but I'm fighting my way back slowly but surely.

I really can't tell you what I did on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday other than sleep. Really. Sleep is about it as I barely ate or drank anything the whole weekend. Yesterday, I showered in the morning for the first time since before I headed in for treatment on Wednesday morning. Yes, you read correctly, I had not showered since Wednesday. Totally gross, I know. Of course, the whole process was so exhausting that I had to get back into bed and rest for about 15 minutes afterwards.

Today I've had my most productive day since my treatment. I've showered, changed the sheets on my and my mother's beds, vacuumed my room, made a few phone calls related to my upcoming "33 and Cancer-Free" birthday party (much more on that later...), ate both breakfast and lunch (a big accomplishment for sure!), and am now FINALLY posting an entry after a several day sleep-induced hiatus.

I don't know when I'll get around to posting the pictures from my last treatment but I'll get them up sometime soon. Tomorrow it's back to the hospital for another treatment (Day 8, you know...) so no telling when I'll be back with another update. Hopefully, this one won't knock me down quite as hard as my last!

Alive and Kicking: Thursday, August 6, 2009

2009-08-06T17:28:00.001-07:00

Just a brief update to let everyone know that I survived my first IP treatment. So far, thanks to the drug industry, I don't have any pain or nausea. Tomorrow will be the big test for how bad it will get as all of my steroids will have worn off by then. Fingers crossed!

I was released at 7:30 p.m. -- just about 33 hours after I was admitted. While I had FANTASTIC nursing care (love my oncology nurses!!!) and a very entertaining conversation with Dr. A, who is the fellow with Dr. E's practice, I am still very happy to be home with my loaner dog...and my mom, who has decided that she needs to spend the night with me despite my protests. I just had "dinner" -- raspberries over Ezekiel cereal and coconut milk. Nothing seemed very appealing to me after having approximately 2,000 milileters of various fluids and poison injected into me today. Well, nothing except for that old comforting standby, cereal. I think I'm starting to develop a serious addiction to the Ezekiel cereal. It's amazing how much I can love something with no sugar in it!

I have about a half dozen pills to take before going to bed. Tomorrow morning I'm off to Dr. E's office for hydration therapy (more fluids...awesome!), a Neupogen shot, and a lesson in how to self-administer Neupogen. I took lots of photos of the infusion process while in the hospital so I'll write at some point tomorrow to give everyone the blow-by-blow (or, needle-by-needle) of what went down over the last two days. Thanks to all of my visitors -- Krista, Michelle, Kristin, Melissa S., and Terri, oh and of course, Mom -- for making my stay go by much quicker.

Goodnight!

And So It Begins...Again: Wednesday, August 5, 2009

2009-08-05T05:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's that time. I just got the call from Sally with INOVA Fairfax. They have a bed available for me in the oncology unit of the hospital. I need to be there by 10:30 a.m., which means I should be done with both my 24-hour Taxol infusion and my several hour (maybe 4-6?) Cisplatin infusion by tomorrow at 5 p.m.

If you know me at all by now, you know that I'm not really dreading this (I mean, of course I am to a degree) but rather I'm just looking forward to being that much closer to this long nightmare being over -- one that has been filled with more diagnostic tests than I can count, pains both big and small, weekly blood work, night sweats, nausea and vomiting, fainting, LOTS of bleeding (although, that is ALL done now), some "I really am God" doctors and some nice doctors, some might-accidentally-kill-you kind of nurses and some FABULOUS nurses, accupuncturists, nutritionists, my breakdowns (and breakthroughs...), parental breakdowns, friends' breakdowns, etc. etc.

So, now that I've taken my steroids (at midnight and 6 a.m.), drank 16 oz. of lemon water (my new morning ritual to make my body lining more alkaline), had breakfast (mixed berries and a half cup of Ezekial cereal with coconut milk), walked the dog, then retraced the walk route to find my cell phone, which I thought went into a neighbor's trash can along with the poop bag but fortunately did not, I am now ready to shower, pack an overnight bag and the dog, head over to my parent's to drop off the dog and pick up my mother, and get this party started. Wish me luck! I'll be back with tales from oncology world on Thursday.

Oh, but before I go, a BIG thank you to Kristin, Shawn, LEW, and Bella for hosting a very fun and delicious dinner (salmon over a mint pea mash -- one of Giada's recipes) last night. River had a great time with Bella and it was so fun for me to have time with so many friends (Christy, Tom, Gunter, Annika, Amelie, and Harper; Melissa and Dave; Krista and Michael; and Melissa S.) before I start the last 63 days of treatment, which sort of feels as though I'm entering a 12-step program for some sort of addiction since it's going to be so intense. Thank you all for joining and being such wonderful, generous friends!

The Show Must Go On: Tuesday, August 4, 2009

2009-08-04T08:20:00.000-07:00

As you know, I went up to NYC this past weekend to co-host Ali's shower and bacherlorette festivities, this despite having had chest and abdominal port insertions earlier in the week. The show must go on, right? I took the train up Friday morning and Christina met me in Penn Station to cab out to her place in Brooklyn together since she knows just how much I enjoy navigating the city's public transportation system on my own, particularly with fresh surgical wounds.

When we got to Brooklyn, we grabbed lunch and then headed out to the grocery store to buy all of the ingredients for the white wine sangria and tea sandwiches for Ali's shower. We had planned to start making things that evening but after an exhausting day of travel for me, tons of errands for both of us AND my increasingly spastic abdominal/lower back pain, we just decided to enjoy a glass of Rose (just one, Granny!) and grab dinner with Christina's husband, Andy, at a great restaurant called Ici, which is in their neighborhood.

My pain grew worse during dinner so I took another vicodin when we got home, got tucked in by Christina (she's a very nurturing physican assistant), and fell asleep watching Revolutionary Road. Fortunately, my pain was gone by the time I got up on Saturday morning and so it was time to get busy putting Ali's high tea shower together! Christina needed to de-stress so we took her dog, Molly, out for a little walk, then it was more errands (to the grocery store AGAIN in search of the perfect tea sandwich bread, then cupcake pick up, then ice cream sandwich pick up...), and finally home to make over 100 tea sandwiches! Here's the menu we used, which everyone seemed to love, in case you're ever throwing a high tea in the heat of summer:

Assorted tea sandwiches:

Curried egg salad on white

Roasted red pepper, basil, red onion, and goat cheese on wheat

Cucumber, dill, and cream cheese on a variety of breads

Smoked salmon, dill, and cream cheese on rye

Prosciutto, fig jam and whipped butter on wheat

Mixed greens with mustard vinaigrette

Vanilla and chocolate cupcakes from Baked

Chocolate chip, chocolate, and dulce de leche ice cream sandwiches from Bierkraft

Iced tea with lemon or mint

White wine sangria with Triple Sec, apricots, peaches, strawberries, and raspberries

Pinot Grigio

Water with cucumber and mint

As you'll see below, Ali's shower went off without a hitch (thanks to Andy Craven for being the best sous chef in the world!) and a good time was had by all. After the shower, Christina and I recuperated for about 15 minutes on the couch before getting ready to head into the city for dinner and karaoke with the bride-to-be and several other of her good friends. Fortunately, my pain didn't make a return appearence the rest of the weekend (although, it was around yesterday afternoon) and I managed to stay AWAKE (I know this will shock many loyal readers) and out until 1 a.m. on Saturday night. The rest of the girls were out until 5:30 a.m. dancing the night away. Needless to say, many were craving a nice, greasy spoon kind of a breakfast on Sunday morning! Here are some highlights from the weekend. Enjoy!

Ali's wedding colors are pewter gray, orange and fuschia so we used orange and fuschia flowers for the centerpieces, which Christina's florist friend Towanna (spelling?) made.

Crowd-pleasing cupcakes!

Cheers to the bride-to-be! Ali with her sangria.
Ali received the obligatory "Bride" baseball cap.

Me, Julie, and Kim at dinner.

Kara, Christina, Ali, and Melissa at dinner.

The dynamic duo at again in the private karaoke room. We haven't performed together like this since our all night high school graduation party back in '94.

I was fast asleep when this photo was taken early in the morning. In case you're wondering, no one knows who the chick on the far right is. Total random. Good times!

Woman's Best Friend: Monday, August 3, 2009

2009-08-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

So, I got back from Ali's shower and bachelorette weekend last night at about 8 p.m. Other than some excruciating abdominal/lower back pain on Friday night that forced me to take two vicodin and call it a night (thanks for putting up with my groaning, Christina and Andy...and Molly!), I felt pretty good during the trip and even managed to stay out -- and more importantly, awake -- until about 1 a.m. on Saturday night. I'll post a few highlights from the weekend tomorrow but in the meantime, here are a few shots of the summer house guest I mentioned last week.

Many people have done extraordinarily generous things for me over the past several months. However, one of the most generous gifts I've received is from my brother; it arrived last week and it didn't cost a cent. My brother has loaned me his best friend, River, who is his four-year old yellow Lab. Bobby knows that I adore his dog and so, despite the fact that he misses him terribly, he has loaned him to me so I have River's company during the last half of my wellness campaign. Our days will consist of visits to the dog park (where he will invariably try to hump anything that moves), long walks in my neighborhood, and many afternoon swims in my parent's pool. He's a sweetheart and will make great company for me, especially during those yucky, painful days. Here he is. He's beautiful, isn't he?

On the Road Again: Friday, July 31, 2009

2009-07-31T05:47:00.001-07:00

I haven't been a very productive blogger this week, have I? Well, I guess I've had a couple of good excuses: a chest and abdominal port insertion. I'm doing okay this morning but I have to say, the abdominal port, which actually rests on one of my rib bones, isn't very comfortable. At all. I'm pretty sore to tell you the truth.

Despite the soreness, I'm in the middle of packing my bags to head up to NYC for the weekend to co-host Ali's bridal shower and bachelorette activities. I'm looking forward to seeing the bride-to-be, Christina, and a few other Deloitte friends during my quick visit. So, I guess I just have to play with pain, huh?!? (Don't worry, I'm taking my beloved vicodin with me.)

I'll be back on Monday with an update on the weekend...and to announce the arrival of a new summer house guest!

Taste Test: Tuesday, July 28, 2009

2009-07-28T17:29:00.000-07:00

Well, my chest port was successfully implanted yesterday. I'm a little sore where my interventional radiologist made the two slits to implant it but other than that, it was no biggie. One down, another to go on Thursday. Hopefully, my abdominal port implantation will go just as smoothly.

So, in my quest to find satisfying non-dairy dessert options, I indulged and purchased some SO Delicious ice cream bars, which are really frozen coconut milk with cocoa shell, today at MOM's. Who better to help with the taste test than my friends Thomas and LEW, both of whom stopped by the pool for a swim (and some "ice cream") this afternoon/evening. I think everyone, including me, was a fan of the ice cream bars!

Going...

Going...
Gone! As Thomas said, "Mmmm!"

LEW, who is the Summer Sanders of the two-year old set, swam for a bit before her taste test.

Say cheese!
1-2-3...jump!
Showing off her floating skills...

Now for the ice cream!
It was a hit!

Let's Catch-Up: Monday, July 27, 2009

2009-07-27T05:54:00.001-07:00

I didn't intend to take an extended break from blogging but I've been busy and a bit uninspired, which is why you haven't heard from me the past few days. Here's a quick summary of what's been going on since I last wrote.

First, my good friends Krista and Michael had a lovely barbecue for me and some other friends on Wednesday evening. They wanted to show off their pretty new backyard deck and landscaping and treated us to a delicious meal of grilled salmon and pork tenderloin (just salmon for me!) and a yummy cucumber, tomato, and feta salad (they made a special portion for me without the cheese...so thoughtful!). Here's a few shots of the evening:

Thomas getting his carb fix from a big piece of bread.

LEW lounging in the Adirondack chair.

Some of the group enjoying cocktail hour on the deck.
The yummy cucumber salad.

Thomas and LEW sharing dessert with their moms.

On Thursday evening, I headed up to Michelle & Jim's to spend the night with Michelle and Lucy, their newly adopted yellow Lab. Michelle made a great veggie dinner. I took a little time after dinner to call Emily, who I was able to connect with through Imerman Angels. Emily is in her mid-thirties and went through treatment for ovarian/uterine cancer last year. She's doing well these days and it was great to connect with someone so close to my age who had been through everything -- including a total hysterectomy and IP chemo -- that I'm going through now.

I was able to catch up with Meredith, an old friend who I met in Brownies when we were 6 or 7?, over lunch on Friday. We had a great time filling each other in on the last few years of our lives, including many good laughs over stories of child care (hers) and dating (mine) mishaps. One of the silver linings of my unfortunate situation, has been the opportunity to reconnect with so many wonderful old friends. After lunch with Meredith, I headed back out to FARfax (that's my nickname for Fairfax) for more chemo class with Jan at Dr. E's office. Jan coordinates all of the chemo care for the patients in Dr. E's practice and is one of the busiest people I know. Despite this, she spent about an hour going over my new protocol with me to ensure I had all the necessary dates, instructions, prescriptions (six new ones to fill!), etc. that I need for the next nine or so weeks. Truth be told, I felt a little more optimistic about my ability to handle the evil IP regimen after talking with her. I joined Alison and her neighbor Lea for dinner at the newly opened Columbia Firehouse that evening. The staff is still working out some service kinks but the food is pretty yummy. Oh, and while we were out, Alison presented me with a surprise gift from a friend of hers who I met the night after I was diagnosed. It seems that Missy is following my blog and decided to treat me to the FABULOUS Trish McEvoy mascara after reading about my need for a new product. Missy, it really is the best! Thank you so much!

I was joined by several friends at the pool on Saturday, which was our first truly HOT day here in D.C. this summer. Thanks to Michelle, here are a few shots from the afternoon:

Lucy tested out the pool before the rest of the crowd arrived.
Kristin and LEW and Christy, Amelie and Harper also joined me. The little ones love the water! (Dad: No comments about my posture, please! Thanks.)

Lucy relaxing in the shade after a long afternoon of swimming (sort of) and running around my parent's big backyard.

My friends Jill and Heather treated me to a fun and delicious dinner at Cork (they have the best veggie small plates!) on Saturday night. It was wonderful to see Heather, who I don't get to see very often, and Jill was just as entertaining as usual with her tales of life in Bristow.

Yesterday I met with two design clients -- the Riddys and Whitmans -- regarding their projects. Both meetings were productive and I finished up in time to still make it over to the pool where I was joined by Alison, Michelle, and Lucy.

So, that's about it. I can't eat or drink anything right now so I'm off to get a pedicure before I head back to FARfax to get my chest port inserted later today. And you thought your Monday sucked?!?

Suggestions, please!: Thursday, July 23, 2009

2009-07-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but I'm DEFINITELY planning to head out of town to celebrate New Year's this year. I want to be somewhere wonderful with good friends to kiss 2009 goodbye and to usher in what will hopefully be a much better year. (Even years tend to be better for me than odd number years, so let's hope that holds true for 2010!)

I like getting away over New Year's as a general rule. Last year, I went out west to ski in Jackson Hole over the holiday and while the skiing was great and I made two new girlfriends during the trip, I'm seeking a warm, perhaps tropical destination this year (and so is my friend Jill who was with me in freezing Jackson Hole -- she broke down in tears as we rode up the gondola one afternoon and said, "I don't know where you're spending New Year's next year but I'll be on a beach somewhere.") However, as you know, I am mentalpausal and have chemo brain right now so I'm not the best travel brainstormer these days, which is why I'm enlisting your help!

When you have a chance, please comment or email me with your suggestions. I'm looking for both location and accomodation recommendations but if you just have a location idea, that's fine too. I am open to foreign or domestic locales. The only place I know I'm not interested in is Cancun or the Mayan Riviera as I've been to that part of Mexico two times already. Oh, and in terms of budget, Bora Bora is probably out of the question (definitely out, actually) but I'll deserve a little luxury by the end of the year, so $$$$ (not $$$$$) is okay.

Designing Woman: Wednesday, July 22, 2009

2009-07-21T20:48:00.001-07:00

Okay, enough of this cancer business. I want to take a small detour away from some of the doom and gloom that has dominated this blog for the past couple of weeks and share a little bit of my...uh...art (?!?) with you. Below is an example of a design project I worked on recently for my friends Claire & Mat (and little Leo, too!). I spotted an old club chair and ottoman during a recent trip to Charleston (it was being stored in my parent's house...uh, long story...) and thought it would make the perfect addition to Claire & Mat's transitional traditional bungalow living room re-do so I emailed this picture to Claire and she agreed. Check out how we transformed this outdated set!

Before...

And after...notice that we removed the skirt from the chair and ottoman to give the pair a more contemporary look. Oh, and soon the brick fireplace in the background will be painted white as well to give the room a little cleaner look. Right, Mat?!?

I'll post other examples of my design projects from time to time so you can see more of the things that I find very therapeutic to work on during all of this cancer craziness.

Final Analysis: Tuesday, July 21, 2009

2009-07-21T04:41:00.000-07:00

When I got to Dr. E's office yesterday, I found out that he was stuck in surgery and that I could be seen by Katy for my post-op visit if I wanted to. I think that actual steam might have been coming out of my ears at that point but I managed to retain my composure and took a seat in the waiting room. Shortly thereafter, I was called back to see Katy and she was her usual comforting self while she gently removed my staples and listened to me bitch about the fact that I had many questions for Dr. E that I'd wanted to ask during my appointment. Fortunately, shortly after Katy left the room she came back to let me know that Dr. E had just returned from surgery and would be able to chat with me for a little while if I was willing to wait. Well, since I had dragged my patient advocate (Melissa S.) out there with me, I figured I might as well. Fortunatley, we didn't have to wait too long to see him. So, here's the outcome of our visit:

When we walked into his office, Dr. E was grinning from ear to ear while he reviewed my pathology report. I don't know if it was the first time he'd seen the report or not but he acted as though it was. He was "shocked" to see that my right ovary had had no cancer in it when it was removed because of its physical appearence (remember the bloated dead mouse image?) but still pretty ecstatic about it nonetheless. Oh, and speaking of shocking news, I was shocked to learn that I only weigh 114.5 lbs these days. I haven't weighed that much since before the "freshman fifteen." Thing is, I really don't know how I'm going to put any weight back on since I think this is what I'm supposed to weigh when following an anti-cancer diet/lifestyle. Something else to ponder...to be extremely thin or not to be?
Next, we discussed what we thought my official diagnosis really is now that he/we had all of the pathology. After a little more debate, we agreed that I have really do have synchronous primaries: Stage IIC/IIIA ovarian cancer (there's a very thin imaginary line between my abdomen and pelvis separating the two diagnoses) and Stage I uterine. That's it. That's the final answer.
Then I brought up the favorable odds people with my diagnosis have versus those with singular ovarian cancer, which is also when I told him how he'd upset me by bringing up negative odds in the hospital. He agreed that I should have about an 80% chance of five-year survival. However, at the same time, he also cautioned that I have about a 50% chance (maybe a little higher actually) of a recurrance within five years. (If you don't understand the overlapping stats, here goes: I will probably still be alive in five years but could very well be alive fighting a recurrence of the cancer if we don't knock it out this time.)
Given those odds and my youth, we have decided that it makes the most sense for me to endure (yes, endure really is the right word for what about I'm to lay out) three rounds of IP/IV chemo.I will go into Fairfax Hospital next Monday, July 27 to have my chest port inserted and I will go back on Thursday, July 30 to have my abdominal port inserted. Both are outpatient procedures for which I will be sedated. On Wednesday, August 5 I will start my final three, 21-day cycles of chemo, which will be extremely intense and will not end until Wednesday, September 23. See below for my schedule:

Day 1 (August 5): 24-hour Taxol infusion via chest port; will be admitted and spend the night at INOVA Fairfax

Day 2: Several hour CisPlatin infusion via abdominal port; will be discharged after finishing the infusion

Day 3: Hydration therapy and shot of Neupogen to boost white count; both occur at INOVA Ffx

Day 4: Neupogen shot; hopefully, will be self-administered at home

Day 5: Neupogen shot

Day 6: No scheduled treatment - AMEN!

Day 7: CBC/BMP labs

Day 8: 8-hour Taxol infusion via abdominal port; will spend the day at INOVA Ffx

Day 9: Hydration therapy and Neupogen shot; again, at INOVA Ffx

Day 10: Neupogen shot

Day 11: Neupogen shot

Day 12: Neupogen shot

Day 13: Neupogen shot

Day 14: CBC labs

Day 15: No scheduled treatment

Day 16: No scheduled treatment

Day 17: No scheduled treatment

Day 18: All labs

Day 19: TBD

Day 20: TBD

Day 21: TBD

Day 22: REPEAT ABOVE

Day 4o-something: REPEAT ABOVE

Day 63: Thank God that it's all over!!!

Day 73: Serve as maid-of-honor in Ali's wedding in Quechee, Vermont!

Sounds like a good time, huh? No, I know it doesn't. And it won't be. But the ONLY thing worse than all of this would be getting cancer again because a recurrence would mean that I likely would never be "cured." That doesn't mean I might not live 5, 10, or 30 years but I'd be battling cancer on and off for the rest of my life and that really doesn't seem like a good time. So, yes, this is insurance chemo. It's the strongest, harshest regimen out there for this kind of cancer but I think I've got to try doing it. And if I can't take anymore after a cycle or two then I'll switch back to plain IV for the last cycle or two and that will be fine too.

So, that's the final analysis folks. Wish me luck with the next two months of my life. I think I'm gonna need it.

Cause Celeb: Monday, July 20, 2009

2009-07-19T17:51:00.000-07:00

This morning I have my big appointment with Dr. E. You remember, it's the one during which I'm going to tell him he messed with my head in the hospital and that he is to never ever do that again? It's also the one that I'm going to try to nail him down on exactly what he thinks I have (my guess: synchronous primaries; stage II/III ovarian and stage I uterine), what my prognosis is given an official diagnosis (see, I think it's far more positive than he suggests given the rates of survival for synchronous primary cancers), and what my remaining course of treatment is. Wish me luck!

Before I head out, I want to share a wonderful surprise that arrived in the mail during my total meltdown at the end of last week. It seems that some of Hollywood is concerned about my welfare. See below for my get well messages from none other than Glenn Close and Tate Donovan, who are the stars of one of my favorite shows, Damages. Would the person behind this wonderful surprise please come forward and identify yourself? I love them, thank you!

In case you can't make the note out, the note says: Glenn Kessler (the director of Damages) told me that you might like this. Hope you feel better soon and thanks, Jennifer. All the best, Tate. And the headshot: To Jennifer. Thanks for watching. Tate Donovan.

That's right people: Tate Donovan wants me to live! Does anyone know if he's single? Ha!

Again, in case you can't read it: Dear Jennifer - I hear that you are ill and just wanted to send along my love and encouragement. It is obvious that there are many people who love you. Bask in their love. Courage! With my sincere best wishes, Glenn Close.

I HEART you, Glenn! If it was up to me, you'd win the Oscar every year! I mean, who can forget, "I'm not going to be ignored..." from Fatal Attraction? The chick is good!

Thanks to Melissa S. for scanning these documents so that people actually believe me when I tell them that I got a get well message from Glenn Close and Tate Donovan.

Away We Go: Sunday, July 19, 2009

2009-07-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

I went to see "Away We Go" with Alison and Jill last night following a wonderfully relaxing afternoon at the pool, and really enjoyed it. Despite a bit of a slow start, it's a pretty funny, heartwarming flick. And in a sign of my improving mental health, I made it through the movie's storyline about all of the important decisions a couple faces regarding the impending birth of their child, as well as others' infertility and loss, without shedding one tear. Yay me! I'm fighting my way back to the land of normalcy.

Well, I'm off for a few morning errands with my mother, who has been on chauffeur/maid/nurse/shrink duty for over a week now, before spending the rest of the afternoon by the pool. Oh, and to those of you have been nice enough to call or text over the past 10 days and whose calls/texts I haven't returned (I think the list is up to about 15 or so right now, including my brother, several aunts, and some very good friends), please know that I appreciate you reaching out very much and will be in touch soon. As I'm sure you can tell from Thursday and Friday's blog posts, last week was a bit of shitshow for me (literally on Monday and then figuratively the rest of the week...) and I've just been focused on living in the present and trying to do what I need to do to put Humpty Dumpty (that would be me) back together again. So, please excuse me for not making my call list a top priority the past couple of weeks...or months.

TGIF?: Friday, July 17, 2009

2009-07-17T14:32:00.000-07:00

Today has been a really bad day. In fact, it's probably the worst day I've had since all the way back to March 10 when I found out that I had cancer. However, I was way more in control of my emotions and in a much better state of mind on that awful day than today. Of course, I'm sure the fact that I still had estrogen in my body and a cute boyfriend who claimed to love me helped me get through that day. But now they're both gone. Long, long gone. Ahhh...the casualities of cancer, right?

I'm afraid that by removing all of the estrogen (read: ovaries) from my body last Thursday in order to save my life, my doctor's scalpel has caused me to slip into a deep, deep depression. My doctor also helped further that depression by being flip when reminding me of the bad odds I face in battling this disease following the surgery.

I think it's time to start taking the happy pills now. I took one awhile back and it made me sick to my stomach so I stopped but I think I've got to try it again. For my sanity and for others'. I really don't want to spend another day in tears (literally, almost all day), contimplating how I'd like to commit suicide (my current thought is to overdose on my beloved vicodin), throwing things around my condo while my poor mother ducks in the corner. Yes, all of that really happened today. And a few other upsetting things that I won't bother mentioning because they don't deserve it.

Hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend. As always, I'm sure tomorrow will be a better day. The sun always comes out tomorrow, right?