What Do They Think?: Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Well, I'm pleased to report that my first day back to work went just fine. Loaner dog survived it too. He was rewarded for his good behavior with a long walk to the dog park and some good playtime (in the dark, of course). Now that I'm at the computer for several hours a day, you can expect pretty regular blog updates once again. I've been meaning to write this particular post for over a month -- ever since my last treatment back on September 23. I ponder this question almost daily and did just this morning on my walk with loaner dog.

As I'm sure many other cancer patients would as well, I'd pay good money to know what thoughts go through a health care provider's head as a patient, particularly a young one, finishes treatment for a pretty serious diagnosis. They're all smiles and hugs and are filled with congratulatory statements but what do they really think about your prognosis? Do they think...

"Well, we've done everything we can and hopefully, she'll be lucky," or...

"Poor thing. She thinks she's beat this but I bet she'll be back," or...

"Well, hopefully she'll have some fun and live a good life before this rears its head again," or...

"Thank God this isn't my kid," or...

"Who knows...maybe she really will be okay because she responded so well to treatment," or...

And the list goes on and on. Maybe they think all of these things. Maybe they really don't think much at all. Maybe they just hope like hell that each patient they treat will be on the right side of the statistics even though they know in their heads -- and hearts -- that not all of them can be. No matter. Fortunately, I was taught not to pay too much attention to what other people think about me, which will hopefully allow me to let go of this question after writing this today and live a long, happy life.

Okay, back to my email clean out...you'd be amazed about how much time it takes to get your inbox and various project folders organized after a seven month absence.