Man, what a difference a day -- or even half a day -- makes. I felt pretty good when we left Charleston yesterday but after nine hours in a cramped car and the blood test results and bills I was greeted with when I got home, my mood turned from pretty high to pretty low in very little time. Sigh.
First, the blood test results: One of my chemo nurses called yesterday evening to tell me that my white and red counts were VERY low this week (I had my blood work done in Charleston). So, I need to start antibiotics today to ward off a possible infection since my white count is so low that I might need to have a blood transfusion. Really? How is it that a girl with a white count so low that she might need a transfusion can speed up a bridge to do a 45-minute power walk without any real shortness of breath (apparently, I should be experiencing that all of the time given my blood count)? The nurse also told me to curb my workouts and to take it easy. Does she have any idea how hard it is to hold onto my fantasy world in which I'm not really sick when I can't exercise and run around like the Energizer Bunny?!? I don't think so. Oh, and even though I've given up dairy except for some occassional goat cheese on a restaurant salad, I need to start eating yogurt everyday to ward off a potential secondary infection from my antibiotics. I think you gals out there know what kind of infection I'm referring to. Awesome! It's all like a big shit sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
Second, the bills: On top of just over $1,000 of pending medical bills (and my $1,500 wig!), there were not one but TWO $40 speeding tickets waiting for me in my mail pile when I got home. It seems I now have another reason to hate Maryland. I got both tickets in Montgomery County during the wig purchase week. I mean, don't they know the only reason I'd be speeding through Montgomery County like a mad woman would be to select, purchase, and get fitted for a chemo wig??? Couldn't they cut a girl with Virginia tags some slack since the only reason she'd be in those parts was for some very sad, pathetic reason? Ugh. Note to self: Those sleezy Marylanders have secret cameras everywhere.
Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. Yes, I will snap out of it (...but I'm starting to think it might be time to start taking those happy pills I got a prescription for a week or so ago). Yes, I'm still going to do some sort of short walk this morning before my errands (just three or four...). And, yes, I do plan to spend the afternoon relaxing by my parent's pool with the great company of my cousin Heather and her three fun kids.
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keep your head up sis! great to see you last week before I leave...your attitude and energy is inspiring to say the least! stay strong and listen to what they say and i'm sure things will get back to normal for you soon...talk soon, B
ReplyDeleteThis is a bunch of disheartening news, but the sun will shine again. Soon. You are strong and brave and loved and supported! Ansley
ReplyDeletethose blood tests can't measure your spirit and emotional energy...that's why you made it up and over that bridge with so much vigor! don't let this latest news dampen your spirits, just enhance what you're doing with whatever supplements and vitamins your bod needs. love, ali
ReplyDeleteHang in there Jennie!! Also I had to start diary again too-so that Ella didn't suck the life out of me while she was breast feeding. And I found an amazing yogurt called Siggi's it's naturally low fat- no nasty additives and it's packed full of protein- something like 16 grams. Worth a shot. I'm thinking of you- so hang in there sweetie!
ReplyDeleteHey Jennie, Hope you're hanging in there. I also wanted to tell you that my recent experience with medical "fun" had some nurses telling me "absolutely no exercise". So I felt fine, but sort of followed their advice. Then I asked my Dr (because I was biking as my means of transport still) and she was like oh do what your body tells you, its ok to exercise until it feels bad to do so. Whaa? So annoying! Eventually it did feel bad and I was bummed that I had missed out on a few weeks of exercise for nothing beforehand. So, my situation is very different and I'd worry about saying that the same goes for you, but I would totally talk to your doctor and see what he/she says. Exercise is so important and I hope you can keep doing some if it's safe to do so!
ReplyDeleteJennie, you'll have ups and downs and it pays to listen to your bod. Don't force yourself...walking is great. Glad you are going to work for a while it's an upper!! love, A. Genie
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